2009 UDFFL Champion

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It's Vic


Another championship for the NFL!
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Here’s the final tally for the acquisition costs:

Vic – 3 Acquisitions = $3
Joe Pro – 15 Acquisitions = $35*
Spae – 13 Acquisitions = $25*
Urgie – 5 Acquisitions = $5*
Timmy – 1 Acquisition = $1*
Ginny – 14 Acquisitions = $30
Rock – 10 Acquisitions = $10*
Joey – 10 Acquisitions = $10*
T-Smoke – 9 Acquisitions = $9
Wadhams – 8 Acquisitions = $8
Don – 7 Acquisitions = $7*
Davie – 7 Acquisitions = $7*

* – Still have not paid the $100 entry fee

Obviously Joe Pro and Spae will have the money deducted from their winnings, but for the rest of you, please get the entry fee to me or Devin (or hell, even Joe Pro or Vic) as soon as possible.

As far as the acquisition dollars, I’m starting a thread on how it should be spent.
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Finally, here is the draft order for the 2010 season:
1. Davie
2. Don
3. Wadhams
4. T-Smoke
5. Joey
6. Rock
7. Ginny (Regular Season 7-6, 1407.5 Points for)
8. Timmy (Regular Season 9-4, 1505.5 Points for)
9. Urgie (Regular Season 8-5, 1554.5 Points for)
10. Spae (Regular Season 9-4, 1448 Points for)
11. Joe Pro (Lost Championship Game)
12. Vic (2009 League Champion)

Championship Matchup

It is with a heavy heart that I must make the announcement that ESPN’s initial report of Urgie beating Vic was inaccurate. Vic won the game by a single point.

This isn’t the first time ESPN has messed up. Remember last season when I picked up Justin Gage & The Giants Defense? Then they put them back in the free agent pool and Rock and Vic picked them up.

Of course that was nothing compared to this fuck-up. This turn of events both pisses me off and depresses me at the same time.

I honestly spent about an hour going to NFL.com and ESPN.com to check their box scores for every game that was involved in the fantasy matchup. I also crossed referenced those stats with our league’s scoring system. I covered everything (even the 3 points Urgie got for Ray Edwards blocking John Kasay’s PAT) and came to the painful realization that ESPN (though after far too long, and some false hope to boot) got the result right.

It’s funny how fragile and delicate the victories can be. If the 49ers scored 14 instead of 13 points, Urgie would’ve won. Just one more Minnesota sack or INT and it would be a different story.

I’m sorry Urgie, I joke a lot when it comes to fantasy football but I can honestly say that of all the people in the league I feel you deserve a championship the most. You don’t resort to cheap shots or shit-talking and I’ve never heard you complain (even after Brady got knocked out in the first game last year and you didn’t take a backup until the end of the draft)

Be that as it may, good luck to Joe Pro and Vic. Even though whichever of you wins will definitely be deserving of the title, I’ll remember this as the season ESPN fucked up (though they eventually got it right)

Week 15: C-C-C-Combo Breaker!!!

Well, well, well. It appears for the 7th consecutive year we are going to have a first time champion in our league. First off, I’ll answer the question of: “What is the payout?”

Since it’s our first season in a 12 man league, the money distribution will increase. Although I should deprive Urigie of this bonus and hold him to the cash standards of years past. Did you think I forgot about you voting down expansion after the 2007 season? Voting it down before I could even make an argument! I saw your “secret ballot”. You wrote “No” before I was even allowed to speak. It’s that type of closed mindedness that makes me think you should be punished for your myopic stance.

But I won’t, for Wad is a fair and just commissioner. I treat all teams with equal respect (after I occasionally engage in drunkenly berating them), so the payout is as follows:

Winner: $750
2nd Place: $350
3rd Place: $100

Now onto the more serious issue of money.,, The only people who have paid are:
Wadhams – I’ve already had my $100 in the envelope since day 1 (After winning the championship and taking second, I’m still playing with house money fuckers!)
Vic – September 6, 2009 on draft day
T-Smoke – October, 22 2009 at Finnan’s
Ginny – November 12, 2009 via a personal check at his house

That’s it!

Joe Pro & Urgie will have their entry fee deducted from their winnings. This leaves the following people indebted to the victors:

Joey
Spae
Don
Davie
Timmy
Rock

It would be greatly appreciated if you could get your money in as soon as possible. Also, I’ll have the final tally for the acquisition fees after the championship next week. After that we need to decide what to do for a year end “get-together” for the usual “airing of grievances” and drinking.

Feel free to post ideas for said get-together on the message board.

Finally, here is the revised draft order for next season:
1. Davie
2. Don
3. Wadhams
4. T-Smoke
5. Joey
6. Rock
7. Ginny (Regular Season 7-6, 1407.5 Points for)
8. Timmy (Regular Season 9-4, 1505.5 Points for)
- Spae (Regular Season 9-4, 1448 Points for)*
- Vic (Regular Season 9-4, 1530 Points for)*

*Winner will receive $100 and the 10th pick in the 2010 draft

Week 14: Things are really starting to heat up!

We're down to the final four teams, two-thirds of the league has been eliminated and we'll have our official champion crowned in less than two weeks.

There's really not much more to say since (aside from Spae), none of us have seen or heard from the remaining team owners in a coon's age.

Now the only thing left up for discussion is which quarterback should Vic start? I included this gif to help you decide:



With all that said, here is the revised draft order for next season:
1. Davie
2. Don
3. Wadhams
4. T-Smoke
5. Joey
6. Rock
7. Ginny (Regular Season 7-6, 1407.5 Points for)
8. Timmy (Regular Season 9-4, 1505.5 Points for)

Week 13: The Rock's Outside Looking In

Well, the playoffs are here once again. Does that excite you Todd Haley?


Well, the table is set. Only six teams remain. Joe Pro & Vic earned a bye, while the remaining four have to fight it out in the trenches.

With all that said, here's how the beginning of next year's draft will will go:
1. Davie
2. Don
3. Wadhams
4. T-Smoke
5. Joey
6. Rock

Yes Rock, you get the last pick from the non-qualifiers.

To the remaining teams, good luck!

Week 12: Playoff Withdrawal

This is all pretty unfamiliar territory for me. I’ve only missed the playoffs once since the league began, and that was the 2005 season (Damn you J.J. Arrington!). Rock, how do you do this every year?! Knowing the futility of the games you play each week?!

Normally, this is the portion of the season where I follow football the most. Where every single touchdown in every single game has an overwhelming value. Last night I watched the Sabres/Leafs game and didn’t even catch the Saints/Patriots.

It’s horrible, the fact that I care so little about football now. But I’m not going to be that bitter, I would like to extend my congratulations to those who are still in the thick of the hunt.

Joe Pro has clinched a 1st round bye, the other free pass to the second round will be given to either Timmy or Vic. Urgie & Spae are in. Finally the last playoff slot will likely be filled by Ginny or Rock, whichever of the two limps to the division championship.

At least I can control my own destiny and pick third next season, unless Don or Davie is willing to trade spots!

So at this point, as a former champion, I can only offer this advice: Be like the attorney in this video: Go after the CASH! The INSURANCE MONEY! The DAMAGES THAT THE LAW ALLOWS! But above all else: GET WHAT’S YOURS!!!


I just had to find a way to include this commercial in an update. Personally, I think that if you're driving, and you get in an accident where you go 35 feet in the air, and then while in the air, your car fucking explodes, well, you might have a case.