The League Expansion

Rachel Phelps: Good morning, gentlemen. Welcome to another season of Underdogs Fantasy Football.

(The men applaud, but their hearts are barely in it)

Rachel Phelps: I know that it may not seem the same since I’m adding two teams this year, but I promise you by the end of the season this league will have made history.

(Several eyes roll up around the room)

Rachel Phelps: Unfortunately there are some in the press who feel that… “The ex-showgirl wife of Donald Phelps has no business being the owner of a fantasy football league.”

Rachel crumbles the paper and throws it away.

Rachel Phelps: The new season begins in two months.

(Throwing a sheet of paper on the table)

Here's the list of people we'll be inviting to camp this year.


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Wadhams: Who are these fuckin’ guys?!


Urgie: I never heard of half these guys. And the ones I do know are way past their prime.


Spae: Most of these guys never had a prime.


Joey: (pointing to the picture of McNair) This guy here is dead.

Rachel Phelps: Cross him off then.