Week 16: Huh?

Wow, so many people to thank. So many people to apologize to. Let’s take things from the top.

First off… I really don’t know how to respond to this. I went to a university who’s football program was the punchline for every e-mail on the Jim Rome show regarding College Football futility. And when UB won the MAC Championship earlier this month, I was at a loss on how to react.

Simply put, dealing with winning is a new concept for me so please bear with me if I’m not responding properly.

Second, sleep was the cure. On Saturday night after the Sabres got fucked by the refs in Montreal, I left the Aud with two fantasy points to my name. When I got home, I checked the website and saw I was up to three (count em’) three points from Tony Romo with only about a quarter to play. Spae had already put up 20 points on a count of Dallas Clark’s Thursday night performance. Needless to say I was dejected after resigning myself to another year of losing in the championship game, so I just went to sleep around 11:00.

When I woke up I began thinking about how I was going to blame my misfortunes on Romo or the NFL schedule yielding a better matchup for Spae. Much to my surprise, Romo had put up 19 more points for me as I slept.

Fast forward to Sunday. Spae is beating me by almost 50 points going into the Giants/Panthers night game. Bear in mind that I’ve been up since 2:00AM and have been drinking XXX, so needless to say, I’m drunk and obnoxious. After resigning myself once again to a loss, I pass out on Rock’s couch.

Waking up at 3:00AM, I look at the website and see that between Brandon Jacobs & DeAngelo Williams, they combined to give me 195 yards rushing and 7 touchdowns!

And that’s how Wadhams won his first Fantasy Football Championship. I’ve been playing since 1998 & this was the first time I managed to win it all. So now “The Nigger Hating Dolphins” will be forever immortalized on the trophy.

In closing, Rock, Joe Pro & Vic are the last of the group to submit the entry fee. I paid Joey & Spae already so no rush, just get me the money please when you have the chance. I tallied up the acquisition fees as well. Remember this money is going to pay for the limo ride up to Canada.

Wadhams: Donating $300 of winnings to the limo
Joe Pro: $8
Ginny: $20
Vic: $7
Spae: $9
Urgie: $10
Timmy: $6
Rock: $55
Joey: $9
T-Smoke: $25

The grand total comes out to $449. I’m still exploring the options, but that would get us 8 hours in a 10 man limo at Buffalo Limousine.

Lastly, here's the final draft order for next season:

1. Timmy
2. Rock
3. Urgie
4. T-Smoke
5. Joe Pro (Regular Season 7-6, 1380.5 Points for)
6. Vic (Regular Season 7-6, 1387 Points for)
7. Ginny (Regular Season 7-6, 1492 Points for)
8. Joey (Regular Season 9-4, 1624.5 Points for)
9. Spae (Lost Championship Game)
10. Wadhams (2008 League Champion)

Congratulations on another great year. Hopefully you’ll join Joey & I in our NASCAR league starting in February, if not… till our fantasy fortunes meet again next fall.

Fixczer Delivers

___________________________________________________

Wadhams: "This blogspot account is erasing all my previous posts as soon as I put a new one up!"


Fry:“Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it… fix it, fix it, fix
it!”

(Door Flies Open)


Professor Farnsworth: "Good News Everyone! I've discovered the source of your website's problems. Oh my, yes. You see, the template you're using contains code that scrambles and deletes everything new you post. Simply choose a new template, and you'll be free to add all your league manager notes that were previously rejected."

Fry: "Thanks Professor"

Week 15: The Tricky Two

___________________________________________________
I'd like to take this opportunity to congratulate Ginny on a game well fought. I can honestly say that Sunday was the best Fantasy Football Semi-Final I've been involved in. The teams were evenly matched and the lead changed hands too many times to recall. In the end, I was lucky enough to get away with the win. Let's be honest, I dodged a loss better than George Bush dodges Pokemon.



So what does this all mean? Well, first of all, I'm not going to shit talk Ginny about his loss. It was a game that could've easily gone either way. DeAngelo Williams' 56 yard TD run helped boost me, and there were several occasions where teams scored rushing touchdowns with the other running back than the one in our lineup. And second, I'm moving Ginny out of the enemies category and placing him at the bottom of the "meh" pile. Mostly out of pitty, but partially out of respect for his play.

But don't think this is a permanent fixture as Ginny was awfully vocal when his players wound up scoring. Wad doesn't forget when people delight in his misfortunes.

With that out of the way, I can now focus on the Championship game.
___________________________________________________

This was a picture taken by Matt Cherry on my camera phone at the Bills - Jets game back in 2003. The inaugural year of the Underdogs Fantasy Football League. Back then Spae & I went head to head in a contest where I was bested.

Best friends forced to do battle once more...


___________________________________________________
Now I know I say this a lot, but I'm pretty sure Spae is going to beat me this week. Because with Spae's boys Drew Brees & Pierre Thomas going up against the fucking Detriot Lions Defense, it kind of paints the picture of a monster point output for the Legends.

Not to mention the fact that my boy Romo is going up against Ed Reed & the Baltimore Defense (my defense), it creates a massive conflict of interest.

All things considered, the NFL matchups do not bode well for my chances of seeing "The Nigger Hating Dolphins" immortalized on the trophy.
___________________________________________________
Finally, here's the revised draft order:

1. Timmy
2. Rock
3. Urgie
4. T-Smoke
5. Joe Pro (Regular Season 7-6, 1380.5 Points for)
6. Vic (Regular Season 7-6, 1387 Points for)
-. Ginny (Regular Season 7-6, 1492 Points for)*
-. Joey (Regular Season 9-4, 1624.5 Points for)*
*Winner of the matchup will receive $100 & the 8th place draft pick.

Week 14: The Final Four

___________________________________________________
Well, with Joe Pro & Vic the first casualties of the post season, the revised draft order for 2009 is now:

1. Timmy
2. Rock
3. Urgie
4. T-Smoke
5. Joe Pro (Regular Season 7-6, 1380.5 Points for)
6. Vic (Regular Season 7-6, 1387 Points for)

That's right, only 6.5 regular season points separated Vic and Joe Pro.

One thing I found interesting was that the teams ranked 1-4 are playing each other.

I'm not doing more for this update mostly because I'm burned out due to lack of sleep, poor diet & no exercise. All things considered, I can honestly say that I am ready to come back from Florida.

Week 13: If something's gonna happen in the playoffs, it's gotta happen now.

Look, if you had one shot — one opportunity — to take an illegal handgun into a night club, then shoot yourself in the leg to jeopardize your multi-million-dollar contract, at which point you spend 90 minutes trying to find a hospital that will treat your wound discreetly, then give that hospital a fake name and say the incident happened at an Applebee’s…

One moment.

Would you capture it… or just let it slip?
___________________________________________________
Well, the playoffs are here once again. It seems like just yesterday that we were on the back of Ginny's deck undermining each other's confidence with their picks. That being said, it's all meaningless now. Joey & I scored a first round bye each, and I've got to be honest, I'm not pleased with the idea of having to play Vic or Ginny next week. Be that as it may, it's just the way things go.

Now that the four teams have been eliminated, here is how the beginning of next year's draft will go.

1. Timmy
2. Rock
3. Urgie
4. T-Smoke

Good luck to the remaining six teams.

Week 12: Rock Returning to Form

___________________________________________________
Rock trying to kick down the self-imposed wall of fantasy football mediocrity



Well boys, light the cigars and pop the top on that $3.99 bottle of J. Roget Spumante because Rock has once again missed the playoffs. Having gone 4-9 the last two seasons and 3-10 back in 2004, the best case scenario awaiting The Dragons at this point is a third consecutive 4 win season.

In a league where 60% of the owners make it to the playoffs, Rock has found a way of mathematically guaranteeing the rest of us that we will have a 67% chance. This of course is based simply on the fact that he is in our league.

I am a man of few words, but this is by far the best part of the fantasy season. The inevitable time when we look to the trainwreck of a roster that has been assembled at Sebastian Drive, and feel better about ourselves.

Also, on a side note, the blogspot page is fucked (blogspot fucking up? That’s unpossible). Any time I try and make a new post, it causes all the previous ones to disappear. I’m still keeping the archives in a MS Word file, awaiting a date when I can fix this problem.

Finally, since there are conflicting desires for the Canada trip, I figure it’s up to Joe Pro and I to make it happen.

Week 11: Nothing Left But Fantasy

Sorry about the delay in the update, but I’ve been having trouble updating the blogspot account to maintain the archive. Plus the game last night took a lot out of me so I’ve spent most of the day relaxing and reviewing things for my 2nd interview with John Hancock Financial this Thursday.

I’ll keep things quick:

1. With regard to the playoffs, Timmy was officially eliminated from playoff contention this week, and Rock still clings to life. Though he’ll have to win out, have Urgie, Ginny & T lose out, and wind up scoring more season points than Ginny.

With only two weeks remaining in the regular season, it’ll be interesting to see how things pan out.
___________________________________________________
2. Only Urgie has paid the $100 league fee. I’m not saying the money has to start coming in immediately, especially with the holidays on deck. As long as the moneys are allocated by the time a champion has been crowned, everything will be fine. I just wanted to take this opportunity to remind you guys.
___________________________________________________
3. At some point this week, I’m going to look into pricing for the party bus at the end of the season. Just a heads up, unless I’m mistaken, a trip to Canada requires a passport or birth certificate to gain entrance back into the U.S. So that should be something to think about.
___________________________________________________
4. Please vote in the poll, or let me know which tentative date would be preferred for the Canada excursion.

Week 10: Saved by 128 Points

___________________________________________________


First things first. I can no longer remain silent on this subject, these Toyota “Saved By Zero” commercials are fucking killing me! No matter how good a mood I’m in (or bad lately on a count of the Bills play), this commercial coming on during the game always brings my spirits to a new low.

I never thought I’d see the day where I longed for Chevy commercials featuring John Mellencamp’s “This is our country” or Dodge’s “Rock em’ Sock em’ Robots”. Hell, at this point I’d even take Ford’s ad campaign with (in Joey’s words), “Toby Keith pointing his chubby redneck finger at me”

Seriously, any desire I had to purchase a Toyota as my next vehicle (partially as a Kyle Busch fan, but mostly due to great gas mileage and low maintenance) died with these commercials.

I mean, of all the fucking songs to pick from, Toyota chose a song by the Fixx? Not even their biggest hit of “One thing leads to another”, but some second tier single that’s over a quarter of a century old.

In case you haven’t watched the video by now, it’s a voice overlay of the commercial that in my opinion is a vast improvement, and a lot more honest to boot.
___________________________________________________
Secondly, I feel kind of responsible for Joey’s collapse and Rock’s unforeseeable explosion in scoring.

While I thank you Joey for answering my call to return to shit-talking Rock on the message board, in retrospect it seems it was a recipe for tempting fate. Kind of like when McCain announced Palin as his running mate and Ginny exclaimed “He’s gonna win!”. Or O.J. having an acquittal party planned for after the trial was over (please Obama, do the right thing and pardon O.J.)

Once Ben Stewart put up 42 points, all that remained was a coup de gras on the Dragons (it means a death blow intended to end the suffering of a wounded creature). However, due to the overwhelming odds being in Joey’s favor, the circumstances were ripe for an upset. So congratulations Rock, I’m sure you can take this away as one of the bright spots of an otherwise dismal season. And hey, don’t worry Joey, being in the XFL you could probably lose out and still clinch a first round bye.