Week 3: There Can Be Only 1!

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Friday night, September 24, Olcott, NY


Bob Barker: And the actual amount of time is...

5 hours


Bob Barker: You have all overbid!


Robert Goulet: (muffled chuckle) A little inside, I know.
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Once again, I was right. I told Joe Pro that it would be a close match between he and I, but in the end he would emerge the victor. Thanks largely in part to a certain masked man who shall remain nameless...


and an inept Seattle secondary (they’re starting Lawyer Milloy for fuck’s sake), Joe Pro remains the lone undefeated team.

I feel my team is a little better than last season, so I'm taking it pretty well. In fact, I'm taking it so well that I've already resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to lose to Brown Shorts this week. With my number 1 Quarterback, number 1 Running Back and number 1 Tight End all having a bye week I'm not holding out a lot of hope. But hey, at least I'm not Rock.

And on the heels of that statement... for as bad as things have been for Rock (yet another season stumbling out of the gate), I’m starting think that a challenger has emerged to take his title as the most inept owner in our league.


Rock: Really?!

Yes Rock, Davie is looking to unseat you. Now, I understand this is only his second year in the league, but let’s be completely honest people. Beanie Wells... Knowshon Moreno... not just keepers, but his first two overall picks. Davie is averaging 70.33 points per week. Did you hear me Rock? That is a whole 10 points less than your 2008 weekly average.

Don't worry though, you've still got your gambling prowess. Speaking of which, the idea of flying to Vegas for our draft one of these years was thrown out there Friday night. I'm on board, think about it.

Urgie 2.0

Urgie totally stole Snelling out from underneath Rock! What do you think of that, Pig Lady?


In case you haven’t noticed (and judging by the attendance, you haven’t) Urgie’s made a whole slew of changes and is threatening to climb out of the cellar.

• New name that celebrates the childhood obesity of a Jewish kid… Check!
• 3:00AM waiver wire moves… Check!
• Shit talking to Rock on the message board… Check!
• Players on his roster getting arrested… Oh, that’s a big check! (Braylon Edwards blew a .16 this morning for a DWI).

Good luck Urgie, if anyone deserves it it’s definitely you.

As far as me, I’m obviously happy with the way things have worked out so far this season. The fact that 2/3rd’s of the league are 1-1 really speaks volumes about its parity.

Now it’s time for Joe Pro and I to have the showdown for the title of the last undefeated team in the league. Remember kids, “the shocker” is all well and good, but…

The Dirty Jew Award: Week 1

Congratulations Rock!

I think I speak for everyone when I say that I did not want to be the first guy that gorged himself on the free agent pool. Fortunately you managed to take that title away from us with gusto.

Though I should give you credit for the following two things:

1. You waited until 5:30 this morning to make the pickups. That's two and a half hours after they were available. Granted ESPN may have fucked up and kept the rosters locked a little longer than usual.

2. Absolutely no player of significant value was taken.

On a side note, I'd like to congratulate T for his win, and offer my condolences to Spae for getting jammed hard by Arian Foster.


*Note, I was going to superimpose Spae's face over that of the whiteboy, but I figured his role as an administrator in our community's educational system might make him only slightly uncomfortable that the image might come back to haunt him.

Rock, the Ol' Dirty Bastard wanted me to tell you:


ODB: Bitch, you know Joe Pro's name, now give him his money!!!

Ginny, I'm looking forward to our only showdown of the season this week. Be prepared for me to push the boundaries of your tolerance for my behavior this Sunday. (I'm honestly not even going to try and piss you off, I'll just be that damned irritating!)

Finally, my heart goes out to Urgie for once again having a keeper get bit by the injury bug in the first week of the season.

As for the rest of you, continue to fuck off!

Prelude to Week One

Ready... Set... GO!!!


The NFL Season gets underway tomorrow night, so I thought I'd take a quick moment to update the front page.

For those of you that haven't voted in the poll, please do so now. I'd like to get a general consensus before anyone's record will reflect how they want next year's draft to go.

Also, I'm canceling the auction league. I've got too many things going on already and it was too last minute to put together. At least enough to where I'd feel like lending my name to such a shoddy product.