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This half-hearted spike pretty well sums up how I felt about Gronkowski's meaningless touchdown. The fantasy football regular season is 31% complete, and after talking with Spae Monday night, we both agreed that our keepers were playing at a level far worse than any of us could have ever predicted coming into this year.
What's more, is that myself (as well as several other people) had our doubts as to the quality of the players being kept by both Davie and Vic. Luck and Ryan felt like a bit of a stretch at the time, but they both have proven me wrong as they continue to dominate week after week.
I'd like to think that by now most of you understand that for all the criticism I put out there, I'll still acknowledge the occasions when I am wrong. This is one of them. Davie and Vic were smarter than me this year, and that's all I'm going to say for now.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Week 4: Giving Credit Where It's Due
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Week 3: 2014 - The Year of the Under-performing Keepers
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The delay in this week's update wasn't due to laziness or a lack of ideas, I just wanted to wait until ESPN updated their statistical data for each player I'm about to discuss.
I'd like to start by saying that maybe it's only because my team has been affected by the Adrian Peterson scandal, but I've noticed that this year has had more keepers reaching bust status than any time in the past.
But it's not just me who's had their keepers under-perform, there are a bunch of players not living up to their potential. I figured it would be best to do the math now because no teams have had a bye yet. With that in mind, I compiled a list of everyone's keepers, and where they rank at their respective positions.
Don:
- No Keepers
Joey:
- Calvin Johnson, WR - 4th
- A.J. Green, WR - 17th
- C.J. Spiller, RB - 27th
- Randall Cobb, WR - 22nd
- Andrew Luck, QB - 1st
- Jordy Nelson, WR - 2nd
- Julius Thomas, TE - 1st
- Montee Ball, RB - 25th
- Aaron Rodgers, QB - 10th
- Arian Foster, RB - 16th
- Demarco Murray, RB - 1st
- Ben Tate, RB - 82nd
- Eddie Lacy, RB - 48th
- Demaryius Thomas, WR - 34th
- Marshawn Lynch, RB - 2nd
- Reggie Bush, RB - 23rd
- Vincent Jackson, WR - 54th
- Doug Martin, RB - 101st
- Dez Bryant, WR - 6th
- Andre Ellington, RB - 24th
- Matt Ryan, QB - 2nd
- Julio Jones, WR - 1st
- Jimmy Graham, TE - 4th
- Alfred Morris, RB - 11th
- Matt Forte, RB - 13th
- Peyton Manning, QB - 3rd
- Le'Veon Bell, RB - 3rd
- Ashlon Jeffrey, WR - 28th
- Jamaal Charles, RB - 79th
- Drew Brees, QB - 9th
- Brandon Marshall, WR - 14th
- Giovani Bernard, RB - 4th
- LeSean McCoy, RB - 16th
- Adrian Peterson, RB - 62nd
- Rob Gronkowski, TE - 9th
- Antonio Brown, WR - 5th
- Davie: Avg. 4.5
- Vic: Avg. 7.25
- Ginny: Avg. 11.75
- Urgie: Avg. 12.5
- Joey: Avg. 17.5
- Wadhams: Avg. 23
- Spae: Avg. 26.5
- B-Shorts: Avg. 41
- Rock: Avg. 43.67
- Joe Pro: Avg. 54
- T-Smoke: Avg. 54.5
- Don: No Keepers
Again, let me just say that this is not an indictment of anyone's team or a litmus test as to predict future success. There are other factors to take into consideration when determining the quality of a team such as: how well the draft went, how many points your opponent scores, who got injured/suspended, and which players have a bye.
The only reason I compiled this data was to show who's keepers were performing the best so far this season.
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Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Week 2: My Nigga B-Shorts
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It's still only week two, so in keeping with my usual policy of not rushing to judgement regarding the quality of anyone's team (no offense to T-Smoke, Davie, or Joey), I decided to take a short moment to discuss B-Shorts.
First, I'd like to commend him on grabbing Knile Davis off the free agent wire at 3:00AM. I must have missed him by only a fraction of a second since I made a grab the second the clock hit 3:00:00
Second, I've got to give him the thumbs up for staying strong and keeping his current team name. With all the talk this year about how the Redskins should change their name because it's a derogatory term, it's nice seeing an owner stick to his guns when confronted with people wanting to ban something simply because they don't like it.
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In all seriousness though, I just don't get what's so offensive about the name. We all understand that as friends, there are lines that we shouldn't cross, and I don't see this as one of them. If he were insulting your children, or making fun of painful events from your past, I could totally understand getting upset. I hardly think a team name focusing on an anecdote from this years draft falls into that category.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Week 1: Seven Years a Draft Board
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Devin suggested last week that I do an update where I post the pictures from our previous drafts. Since this started back in 2003, we've undergone several changes before we found the right format that makes our league what it is.
From 2003-2007, I would print out sheets of paper listing each position (QB, RB, etc.) and each person would write in their draft picks. While this was practical from a financial standpoint, it deprived us of several key benefits that accompany a draft board.
First, there were numerous occasions when people would try drafting a player who was already taken by someone else. This was especially irritating in the late rounds when we had been drinking for hours and would miss some picks. By having the draft board, the presence or absence of a sticker will tell the whole story. Or at the very least it takes a lot of the guess work out of it.
Second, with each person having their roster in their hands and not up for everyone to see, it was difficult to speculate which position anyone would be targeting. with the draft board, you can tell if someone is in the market for a tight end, backup quarterback, or a flex wide receiver option. This allows each of us to alter our own draft accordingly
Finally, it lets us to view the draft results all year round as it is constantly on display in the Ginty garage (car hole).
The point is, once the board was brought into the mix, we started taking pictures of the group after every draft .
So let's take a stroll down memory lane:
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Before the start of the 2008 season, Spae took it upon himself to buy a draft board. He was gracious enough to pay out of pocket, so we went to OfficeMax and bought two sheets of foam board on which to mount it.
This was the second year where we held the draft at Devin & Krissy's house. Up until that point it would take place at Laborfest.
It was a still a ten man league, with Tim making his picks via AIM.
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The 2009 season started with the addition of two new teams which were manned by Davie and Don. It also marked Tim's final year as a member of the UDFFL. The hassles of conducting a draft over a computer (that was Newman's job in case you were wondering why he was in the picture), had became too much to bear and we parted ways amicably.
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2010 saw us finalize our current lineup with the addition of B-Shorts to the league. It also was the year that brought us a customized draft board. In an effort to save money, I got the least expensive one possible and the result was getting a board made from material which was unlaminated. This meant it was good for only one use.
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The draft date in 2011 had a forecast which called for rain. Since the previous three drafts were held on the back porch, the decision was made to move the event to the garage. This is how we made our way to our current location. The first order of business was finding a way to reuse the custom draft board. The result was somewhat half-assed, but it got the job done. I simply ordered a new standard board and taped it over the old one. It was at this time the J.J. Watt jersey became part of the draft day process. I wrote a short poem to tell the story:
"I gave it to Don, who threw it away. T'was was picked up by B-Shorts, and worn on draft day."
This was a particularly memorable year due to the absence of Davie, who decided that attending an Elton John concert was more important than our fantasy draft. (I'm not making that up)
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This was pretty much the same thing as the previous years. The league members had stabilized, the draft location was a repeat, the J.J. Watt jersey was present. However, there was a new inclusion to the draft day tradition: Slap Cup. For the past three occasions, after the draft (usually while I'm uploading the results), a violent/extreme game of slap cup emerges. Also, Joe Pro and I argued a little.
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The year after Rock won the championship. This was a guy who at one time kept the Buffalo Bills defense, and drafted Ron Dayne & Lionel Gates after they both were cut... in the same year!
Since Rock felt that for us to simply hand him the trophy and money would be too informal, we decided to go all out. Spae brought his mother's fur coat and his prom king crown. I provided a $11.99 half-gallon of J.Roget Spumante as well as a "King" chalice to hold the libation. To finish things off, we threw rose petals at his feet as he walked to the draft board all the while playing the Carmina Burana section of the medieval Latin Goliardic song: "O Fortuna" .
A lesser known fact was that this was the year we got our permanent/laminated draft board. We also chose our official league colors: navy blue & gray. The same ones used by our high school
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This included the unveiling of the new Underdogs Cup. I spent $174 of my winnings to completely have the base redone to fit my original vision: I wanted it to look like the William M. Jennings Trophy
I'd like to tell you more about this draft, but I had a lot to drink that day/night. After I finished the 750ml bottle of Jim Beam 8 year, I started drinking big man's, which lets be honest, always leads to memory impairment. At some point during the evening a pint glass got broken in Devin's garage, and we wound up going to the Pub around 10:00 or so. I remember I was starting to fade so I dug into my emergency fund and bought a bunch of "Blastas'" (aka. Jäger Bombs). Living up to my persona, I was able to continue drinking the rest of the night.
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It was an unusually hot draft day, so much so that I couldn't bear to wear my "Marvelous Marc Mero" robe due to the threat of passing out from heat stroke.
We had to push the draft back until 3:00PM on a count of Rock, but since Don was in London for work, another draft day compromise didn't seem like too big of a deal. The evening before, Spae bought me a 750ml bottle of Jim Beam Signature Craft. Since I called my shot that I would win the championship this season, I was going to need all the confidence I could muster. As a result, I downed the whole bottle and drafted the best team imaginable. This was the second year I got absolutely obliterated drunk, and it was the first year we decided not to order any pizzas on a count of how much got wasted each of the previous years.
The next morning I was struggling to find the draft day money, and I began to panic. Little did I know that even in my intoxicated state I still had the good sense to put the cash away in my backpack's secret compartment. Nevertheless, I thought it would be best if I curbed my draft day drinking in the future.
As usual, I was good by my word and locked up my third championship. The second in the past three years.
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This was Linhart's first year in the league after taking over for Joey's team. Once again, Rock asked us to push back the draft time from our usual 1:00PM kick-off, to the more west coast friendly 4:00PM. Seeing as how T-Smoke was doing an online draft for another league at 1:30PM, and we had to divide our Sabres season tickets among Spae, Devin, T-Smoke, and I, it wasn't all that inconvenient.
It was somewhat lonely on my island bar that Joey & I would use to conspire against our fellow league members, but in the words of Sinestro from the film: "Green Lantern: First Flight"... "I start alone, I end alone"
The draft began with my promise of a second consecutive championship before I slammed my XXX out of the cup, and we were off. Although I had tried wearing my "Marvelous Marc Mero" robe the previous season, this was the first time Don had seen it. I'd have to say, the robe was the hit of the draft.
This year I pretty much stayed away from drinking on a count of the last two years, and when the draft was completed, I immediately put everyone's rosters into the website. It's always a lengthy process taking about an hour, but if I've been drinking, it takes even longer and I'm more prone to errors... in theory.
Once the work was done, Devin cranked up the country music and the only remaining champions (Spae, Devin, Rock, and I) decided to play a game of "fingers" with the cup. Since only those who have won a championship may touch or have their photo taken with it, B-Shorts, Don, and Linhart were ineligible.
It came down to Rock and I, and let me tell you, drinking out of the cup has to be the most vile method of ingesting alcohol. Fortunately, I was able to eek out the victory, and Rock had to taste the bitterness of defeat in the form of room temperature, metallic infused, Bud Ice.
Devin's country music playlist must have been on repeat because that fucking "Tonight it's bottom's up" song played at least five times.
After watching Notre Dame get beaten by Texas on my iPad, we decided to take the beauty that is the "Marvelous Marc Mero" robe to the Pub. Since I hadn't been drinking, I agreed to drive everyone in Don's truck.
Once again, the robe was a hit and it was passed around from person to person. The rest of the guys closed the place out and we made our way back to Devin's around 3:00AM. I drove Linhart home and so ended the 2016 UDFFL Draft Day Experience.
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Well, there you have it. I'll probably continue to update this post every year so as to include a recap of each successive draft. Don't worry, I'll provide the link on the fantasy site's front page.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
2014 Season
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The draft is in the books and the new season gets underway this Thursday evening, so good luck everyone.
Today provided us with another reminder that no matter how close we set our draft date to the start of the NFL season, there'll always be unexpected problems with the players.
Most notably, Wes Welker's 4 game suspension for Amphetamines. This hurts Davie for sure since he drafted him in the 5th round. But December is a long ways away, and it's still way too early to predict who this year's elite teams are.
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