Week 8: What We Should Have Been For Halloween

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With Halloween 2011 officially in the books, and the fantasy (regular) season nearly 2/3 complete I think it’s time to look back (ever so briefly). With that in mind, I decided to take a page out of my 2008 update with regard to who we would be as NFL owners, and do the same thing for “Who we should’ve been for Halloween” and more specifically, how these costumes tie into our Fantasy Football persona's. Enjoy.
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Devin – Brian Bosworth

What's worse is that this photo was taken AFTER Labor Day!

He’s got the look and the style, but just could never put it together. In the end, they get exactly what they deserve when it comes to football.
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Don - Hobo Batman


This is just all sorts of wrong. Nothing is working, and I can’t even help but wonder if there was any type of plan involved at all when it was being put together
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Urgie - Indian
How’s about some shiny trinkets, firewater and $28 for your whole roster?
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T-Smoke - Pilgrim


Manhattan Isle was a fair deal when compared against the way you’ve fleeced Urgie over the years

Runner-up – Rick James on a count of the way you're always giving Devin grief (like he's the nigga to steal on). Also the Bud Light incident at Ginny’s Sunday added to the case

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Davie - Smithers


Not just because you’re George’s lapdog, but also due to the Elton John concert you attended in lieu of being at the fantasy draft
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Wadhams - Hasidic Jew


This picture pretty much says it all. The complaining, the victimhood status, the sense of entitlement… did I really even need to explain this?!
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Joey – Mr. Burns (as Howard Hughes)


A recluse and shut in who for some reason or another is doing better than the rest of us
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B-Shorts - The Dude

Hey, fuck it man. The Dude abides.
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Joe Pro – The Most Interesting Man in the World


He's the man, he's done it all. The gif below should explain the rest...

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Vic - Tim Tebow


They won a pair of championships a few years back and never miss an opportunity to spread the good news about our Lord
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Spae - Joseph Ducreux


His golden tongue and grammatical prowess are unsurpassed on the message boards & Twitter
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Rock - ...


You know what Rock, you pretty much nailed it.

Week 7: A Message for Drew Brees & Davie

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First off, sorry for not updating last week but I had a lot of stuff to do for school. When staring down the barrel of two exams and a presentation, doing a League Manager update for your fantasy football page doesn’t seem too important.

Anyway, Drew Brees & Davie:

Seriously, how can Spae or anyone with a soul even support this guy? His track record for douchebaggery knows no boundaries. Mark Ingram had 91 yards on 14 carries. Should you keep handing the ball off to him when you consider it will keep the clock running and the Colts have no chance of stopping the Saints? Not when the ass puckering litigious bastard who never met someone he didn’t want to sue has to get his precious 40 touchdowns for the year. Such a classless move by a classless player.

Then again, such behavior does seem apropos when you consider the game took place in the same venue where all the gang rapes and murders were committed in the fall of 2005.

And as for Davie, you may have beaten me this week but at least I didn’t skip out on our fantasy draft to go an Elton John concert. That qualifies you as a…

Week 5: Goodnight Sweet Prince/Why the Bills Are Succeeding

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"Oh, why do the good always die so young?"

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I firmly believe that there is some type of guiding force(s) taking part in sports. I’m not going to try and pretend to understand what is involved, but I can say with absolute certainty that when someone verbalizes or makes any gesture with regard to how they perceive the outcome to be… well, that’s when it all goes in the opposite direction.

Let me explain.

As I lay on my bed getting ready to call it a night, I begin to do my weekly League Manager’s note. The time is 10:40PM. The first paragraph I type out is how there is a three way tie for second place in the NFL between Vic, Spae & I who are all at 2-3.

I genuinely would have had no problem with losing this matchup. I feel bad for Spae the way things have worked out the last couple of years for him in fantasy so I genuinely would’ve liked to see him win. No sooner do I type this out on the page than Jahvid Best runs for an 88 yard touchdown at 10:45PM, securing my victory.

How many times have we seen something like this happen? How many times has Joey called or texted us during a Bills/Sabres game where they were leading only to watch it fall apart? I remember the Bills-Patriots Monday night game two years ago. I didn’t care about the Bills (remember I swore them off after 2008), but I began to give a damn about the outcome. Right about this time I got a text from my buddy Larry in Florida saying congratulations on the win. Well we all remember how things went from there.

Joey texting me at the Cowboys game on Monday night 2007; “This is the upset of the year”, or after the second period of game 7 of the Hurricanes-Sabres series saying “We’re going to the Cup”.

But it’s not enough just to verbalize or convey these feelings, they must also be accompanied by a genuine belief that you know how the outcome will go.

Which brings me to my point. I firmly believe that the Bills are doing so well this season simply because I no longer care about the outcome of the games, or the team.

So ask yourself this, would you rather I went all “Joey Style” and started making wild predictions about the future of the team (both this season & beyond)? Or are you grateful that I have turned my back on the organization and have become genuinely indifferent (and sometimes hostile) towards their success this year?

I’m starting a thread on the message board to discuss times when our fortunes in the sports world changed simply by receiving a call/text, verbalizing our thoughts or any other means I haven’t mentioned. Feel free to contribute your own stories.

Week 4: All The Wad Hate

Or as Joseph Ducreux would say:

When a beacon of positivity like Joe Pro, a regular ray of sunshine glowing on us all from above, takes to the message board to call you a “pessimistic KUNT”… well, you can’t help but re-evaluate your life.

I apologize for upsetting any of you. I have no excuse. So I will endeavor to do better from here on out. It will be difficult to combine the public’s desire to make fun of people while avoiding the pitfalls of pessimism. But how do I achieve this? It’s like trying to find the oil that mixes with water, the rocks that bounce off glass windows or the brilliant black physicist.

Congratulations to Vic & Davie for getting their first wins of the season, even though it had to come at the expense of Urgie & I. Live it up Davie, your wins will be few and far between.

"The Boys Are Out Tonight!"

Spae, a thousand apologies for the bad fantasy advice when I said you should start McCluster over Gore. No matter how much I try and help you out (hoping to lose to you late last season to avoid causing your elimination), I always wind up fucking you over in Fantasy Football.

And in closing, to all those who are upset with me…

Week 3: T-Pain & Why I still can’t support the Bills

It’s hard to believe this picture was taken 8 years ago with a 1.5 megapixel camera phone

Poor T. First Arian Foster with his hamstring, then Kenny Britt going down for the year, and finally having a league high 438 points scored against. To put that in perspective, Joey only has 289.5 against. Hopefully things will change for you now that division play begins this week.

And on a separate note, I just wanted to weigh in on why I’m still not able to get behind the Bills even after their 3-0 start.

It’s like dating a girl for years, and the two of you love each other deeply. You think there is nothing that can come between you. Then one day she starts treating you differently, you think it’s not a big deal so you ignore it. Well before long she starts to become flat out hostile to you, insulting and demeaning you. Unsure of how to react you stick it out because the two of you have been through so much together.

Soon you realize that what you once had is gone, and her love for you has changed to contempt. Then she starts seeing someone new (Toronto?! Really?! Ralph Wilson owns the stadium & team outright and pockets roughly $40 million a year in profit but he HAD to outsource games to Toronto to stay economically viable).

At this point it has become painfully clear that there is no going back to the way things were.

Then a couple of years later she comes back into your life, and she’s looking good. She’s been calling you for three weeks in a row. All your friends are telling you how the two of you belong together, that you had been through so many good times with one another and it would be best for everyone if you just made up and got back together.

Unfortunately, this is where people fail to understand relationships. Nothing has changed. She might look different, and tell me how she was wrong, but the reality is she is the exact same person that insulted, degraded and cheated on me. Who broke my heart with no remorse.

That’s why I can’t get behind this team until Ralph Wilson is dead. These “new look Bills” (which I am still not sold on as being for real) are still the byproduct of Ralph Wilson’s penny pinching, horrible personnel hiring, desire to maximize the bottom line, and indifference to the fans.

If you want to go back to someone who has repeatedly shown you that their feelings toward you range from indifference to hostility, that’s fine. Everyone has their own journey in life, and it’s not my place to tell them how to live.

The organization has gone out of its way to alienate the dedicated fan base (parking price increases, subjective gate dismissals, parking restrictions, a hotline for text messages to report people being unruly in the stadium, entry restrictions to the stadium creating longer lines, slamming the gate in our faces on Monday Night against Cleveland!). All of this was done at a time when the team was in the gutter, when the franchise was little more than a punch line throughout the NFL. Now because they’ve won three games, I’m supposed to forgive all the mistreatment I’ve suffered? I supported them when so few others would and my loyalty was spat on!

It’s finally happened; I genuinely don’t care about the Bills anymore. And sometimes, I wonder if I will ever be able to do so again.

Week 2: The Return of the Dirty Jew of the Week Award

With the regular season just over 15% completed, the biggest injury of the year to this point has hit Spae’s boy Jamaal Charles. I don’t take any pleasure in the injury, it’s just part of the game. That’s why I’m bringing back the Dirty Jew of the Week Award and giving it to the Detroit Lion’s mascot.

I don’t know if Charles got injured trying to avoid the Lion, but it sure seems like a good enough excuse to defuse responsibility for keeping (and hyping up) an overrated running back on one of the worst teams in the NFL who even last season was sharing time with the coal miner’s daughter.

You’re pretty well screwed Spae, at this point you might as well change your team name to whatever you want because the UD Legends will not be celebrating another title this season. I say that even though your litigious quarterback continues to put up numbers only slightly less shameful than the lawsuit he filed against his dead mother.

T-Smoke, sorry for the way my team kept racking up the points against you this week. Winning is only respectable when you do it in a matter that is tasteful rather than just piling on someone and being a dick. You know, kind of like the Yankees.

If I wasn't hit by that pitch, why am I crying so hard?

But in all seriousness, no one is really out of it yet this year (except for Don). In 2008, I lost my first two games, then rallied the rest of the season by winning 13 straight en route to my first championship. So chin up everyone, it’s a long way to December and I say let’s all enjoy the ride together!

The Adventures of Mis-ter Cle-pro

Call me now for your free readin'

Wadhams: Hi Mis-ter Cle-pro. I'm interested in taking Mike Tolbert in the 8th round. What are your thoughts?

Mis-ter Cle-pro: Oh, my goodness. Why would you draft him? "He's the third best running back on a shit team"* (*Actual draft day quote)

Wadhams: Well, "last season of the 20 times the Chargers ran a play inside the opponent's 5 yard line, Tolbert got the ball 18 of those 20 times"* (*Actual draft day quote)

Mis-ter Cle-pro: Fuck that!

I felt this was a better avenue to express my "I told you so" moment than simply posting on the message board.

Just a heads up, I've got class at 8:00AM Tuesday through Thursday so the updates may take a bit more time than in seasons past.

On the Eve of Our 9th Official Season

T’was the week before kick-off, and all through the garage.

Sat a group of 12 drinkers, where once sat a Dodge.

The Bud Light was chilled, in the coolers and fridge,
As faggots on Harleys raced over the bridge.

The cheatsheats were ready, we all were prepared,
When Joe Pro looked up and angrily glared.

Alright, I don't feel like trying to come up with any more. The draft is in the bag and the season starts Thursday night.

I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for paying their acquisition fees on Sunday. 2009's money went to the beer, chips & draft board. 2010's money went to the pizza and wings Sunday night, with $125 left over for 2012's draft.

Finally, here's the obligatory picture of the draft board so everyone can undermine one another's picks several years down the line.

Keeper List & Draft Order 2011

Yoda: He'll Fuckin' Cut You Bitch!

Alright, the keepers are in. And let me just say that these are not set in stone, we’ve always had an opt out feature in the event of an injury. So here’s the list, adjust your draft notes accordingly.

Don:

• Rashard Mendenhall, Pit RB
• Matt Schaub, Hou QB

Devin:

• Shonn Greene, NYJ RB
• Matt Forte, Chi RB
• Vincent Jackson, SD WR
• Peyton Hillis, Cle RB

Vic:

• Larry Fitzgerald, Ari WR
• Hakeem Nicks, NYGWR
• C.J. Spiller, Buf RB
• Michael Vick, Phi QB

Urgie:

• Tom Brady, NE QB
• DeSean Jackson, Phi WR

Spae:

• Drew Brees, NO QB
• Frank Gore, SF RB
• Jamaal Charles, KC RB
• Greg Jennings, GB WR

T-Smoke

• Aaron Rodgers, GB QB
• Ryan Mathews, SD RB
• Arian Foster, Hou RB
• LeGarrette Blount, TB RB

Davie:

• Knowshon Moreno, Den RB
• Miles Austin, Dal WR

Wadhams:

• Adrian Peterson, Min RB
• Jahvid Best, Det RB
• LeSean McCoy, Phi RB
• Tony Romo, Dal QB

Joey:

• Calvin Johnson, Det WR
• Chris Johnson, Ten RB
• Dez Bryant, Dal WR
• Dwayne Bowe, KC WR

B-Shorts:

• Peyton Manning, Ind QB
• Michael Turner, Atl RB
• Roddy White, Atl WR
• Mike Williams, TB WR

Rock:

• Maurice Jones-Drew, Jac RB
• Ray Rice, Bal RB
• Mike Wallace, Pit WR
• Steve Johnson, Buf WR

Joe Pro:

• Steven Jackson, StL RB
• Andre Johnson, Hou WR
• Philip Rivers, SD QB
• Darren McFadden, Oak RB

As far as the draft order goes, it’s the same gig as every year: It is determined by the previous year’s regular season's record. Playoff eliminations are determined by who had a better record, followed by regular season points scored.

1. Don (Regular Season 4-9, 1164.5 Points for)
2. Devin (Regular Season 4-9, 1239.5 Points for)
3. Vic (Regular Season 4-9, 1282.5 Points for)
4. Urgie (Regular Season 5-8, 1443 Points for)
5. Spae (Regular Season 5-8, 1526.5 Points for)
6. T-Smoke (Regular Season 6-7, 1453 Points for)
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7. Davie (Regular Season 7-6, 1229.5 Points for)
8. Wadhams (Regular Season 7-6, 1522 Points for)
9. Joey (Regular Season 10-3, 1594.5 Points for)
10. Bronschidle (Regular Season 9-4, 1617.5 Points for) [Beat Joey for 3rd Place – 127.5 to 126.5]
11. Rock (Regular Season 8-5, 1485.5 Points for) [2010 UDFFL Runner-Up]
12. Joe Pro (Regular Season 9-4, 1414.5 Points for) [2010 UDFFL Champion]

Since not everyone is keeping four, here’s how things will go:

Round 1 – Completed

Round 2 – Completed

Round 3

1. Don
2. Urgie
3. Davie

Round 4

4. Don
5. Urgie
6. Davie

Round 5

7. Don
8. Devin
9. Vic
10. Urgie
11. Spae
12. T-Smoke
13. Davie
14. Wadhams
15. Joey
16. B-Shorts
17. Rock
18. Joe Pro


The 2010 entry fees (which I would appreciate everyone paying on draft day) will be put away to pay for the expenses for the 2012 draft. The list is as follows:

NFL

• Jeremy B-Shorts: 5 Acquisitions = $5
• Wadhams: 11 Acquisitions = $15
• Spae: 7 Acquisitions = $7
• Vic: 10 Acquisitions = $10

UFL

• Joe Pro: 15 Acquisitions = $35
• Davie: 7 Acquisitions = Paid - 8/27
• Urgie: 9 Acquisitions = $9
• Don: 7 Acquisitions = $7 + ($7 from 2009’s unpaid acquisition fees) = $14

XFL

• Joey: 17 Acquisitions = $45
• Rock: 10 Acquisitions = $10 + ($10 from 2009’s unpaid acquisition fees) = $20
• T-Smoke: 10 Acquisitions = $10
• Ginny: 17 Acquisitions = $45

Remember, this money is going towards the draft board, draft day booze and food. I am not pocketing a dime. So for the good of the Underdogs Fantasy Football League, please be kind enough to pay.

Draft Order & Entry Fees

Just so you know, I still have the money from everyone’s 2009 entry fees. That’s right, it’s been sitting in my strongbox all this time. Now, that money will be put toward the draft board and beer/food for the draft. I ordered the board today so there shouldn’t be any problems on it getting here by the 4th. Now all that’s left is to buy the booze & food.

The 2010 entry fees (which I would appreciate everyone paying on draft day) will be put away to pay for the expenses for the 2012 draft. The list is as follows:

NFL

• Jeremy B-Shorts: 5 Acquisitions = $5
• Wadhams: 11 Acquisitions = $15
• Spae: 7 Acquisitions = $7
• Vic: 10 Acquisitions = $10

UFL

• Joe Pro: 15 Acquisitions = $35
• Davie: 7 Acquisitions = $7
• Urgie: 9 Acquisitions = $9
• Don: 7 Acquisitions = $7 + ($7 from 2009’s unpaid acquisition fees) = $14

XFL

• Joey: 17 Acquisitions = $45
• Rock: 10 Acquisitions = $10 + ($10 from 2009’s unpaid acquisition fees) = $20
• T-Smoke: 10 Acquisitions = $10
• Ginny: 17 Acquisitions = $45

Remember, this money is going towards the draft board, draft day booze and food. I am not pocketing a dime. So for the good of the Underdogs Fantasy Football League, please be kind enough to pay.

Second order of business is the draft order. As always, it’s the same gig as every year: The draft order is determined by the previous year’s regular season's record. Playoff eliminations are determined by who had a better record, followed by regular season points scored.

1. Don (Regular Season 4-9, 1164.5 Points for)
2. Devin (Regular Season 4-9, 1239.5 Points for)
3. Vic (Regular Season 4-9, 1282.5 Points for)
4. Urgie (Regular Season 5-8, 1443 Points for)
5. Spae (Regular Season 5-8, 1526.5 Points for)
6. T-Smoke (Regular Season 6-7, 1453 Points for)
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7. Davie (Regular Season 7-6, 1229.5 Points for)
8. Wadhams (Regular Season 7-6, 1522 Points for)
9. Joey (Regular Season 10-3, 1594.5 Points for)
10. Bronschidle (Regular Season 9-4, 1617.5 Points for) [Beat Joey for 3rd Place – 127.5 to 126.5]
11. Rock (Regular Season 8-5, 1485.5 Points for) [2010 UDFFL Runner-Up]
12. Joe Pro (Regular Season 9-4, 1414.5 Points for) [2010 UDFFL Champion]

Finally, don’t forget to lock in your keepers by this Sunday the 28th at 5:00PM. Once I get everyone’s keepers I will post them on the website.

Underdogs Fantasy Football 2011

Gotta do something until the Sabres start their season

I know I’m probably the only one who feels this way, but with the Bills being such a joke, the NFL loaded with overpaid whiners and this continued lockout, my passion for the NFL has gone from rabid enthusiasm to feigned interest in just a few short seasons.

The big issue at hand for our league is when will this lockout end? If the lockout goes into the regular season, and games are missed, we may need to consider restructuring the schedule from head to head to straight points.

Hopefully things will be resolved in time for the normal schedule to work. In the mean time, enjoy the summer, and I look forward to seeing everyone at this year’s draft (now that it’s officially accepted that you can start the season with no more than four players).

Week 15: Not Sure Who I Want To See Win...

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On one hand, it'd be nice to see Rock with a championship before Ginny. On the other, when Joe Pro agrees to a trip up to Platinum, I'm definitely inclined to believe that he'll be good by his word.

At any rate, we'll know in less than a week.

2011 Draft Order

1. Don
2. Devin
3. Vic
4. Urgie
5. Spae
6. T-Smoke
7. Davie (Regular Season 7-6, 1229.5 Points for)
8. Wadhams (Regular Season 7-6, 1522 Points for)
- Bronschidle (Regular Season 9-4, 1617.5 Points for)*
- Joey (Regular Season 10-3, 1594.5 Points for)*

*Winner will receive $100 and the 10th pick in the 2011 draft

Week 14: So Ends Another Fantasy Football Soiree

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Another one of the many classy actions by the J-E-T-S

Well, that's that, you can kiss the Platinum trip goodbye. I'm not complaining, these things happen in life. Fortunately I was still too hungover from Saturday night (sorry about the couch Spae), to care that my team didn't show up.

So to Joe Pro, Brown Shorts, Joey & Rock, good Luck. Now, on to the revised draft order for 2011*

1. Don
2. Devin
3. Vic
4. Urgie
5. Spae
6. T-Smoke
7. Davie (Regular Season 7-6, 1229.5 Points for)
8. Wadhams (Regular Season 7-6, 1522 Points for)

*In the event of a NFL lockout for 2011, we'll keep this same draft order for 2012. None of that NHL Draft Lottery bullshit that they did for the 2006 draft. Of course since Joe Pro will be drafting in the bottom four next season, the concept of not going to a lottery will be the greatest injustice in history.

Week 13: Why Tempt Fate?

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Your 2010 Champion is somewhere on this page

If there is anything that I have learned when it comes to sports, it's that there is a special place reserved for those who run their mouth. That place is of course is the loss column.

The sports world is littered with an insane amount of people who have felt the need to tempt fate by making guarantees, talking shit and doing everything under the sun possible to angry the sports gods.

The same thing holds true for fantasy sports. Since I've got to write an update, I don't want the responsibility of saying or doing something to draw the ire of an all powerful entity that can bitch slap me into submission.

With that being said, here's the list of the six teams that did not make the playoffs, and how next season’s draft order will begin.

1. Don
2. Devin
3. Vic
4. Urgie
5. Spae
6. T-Smoke

Week 12: Sorry Spae

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If any of you watched Spartacus, you'll understand the photo

I didn't want to do an update last week after I endured another crippling loss, and that combined with the tragedy Rock suffered, I figured my time wouldn't be best spent lamenting a fantasy football game.

I've had this losing streak coming, I run my mouth, I hurl insults. I was only doing it for the sake of stimulating league activity. But with the loss of Rock's mother, I realize that it's important to let those around you know how much you care about them (ironically enough, during the Thanksgiving weekend)

That's why I decided on Sunday rather than hope for my own win (as Spae and I faced off against one another), I was actually pulling for a Vaughn victory. Sure, I enjoy winning, but not when it comes at the expense of one of my friends.

If Spae was a lock for the post season it would've been a different story, but this game was pretty much going to decide who would still have a shot at the playoffs, and who was finished.

I can honestly say I was cheering for him. I wasn't even keeping it a secret at Ginny's. I was hoping for a touchdown every time Jamaal Charles touched the ball. I even cheered when Brandon Lloyd caught a TD pass long after Spae left and it was just Bronschidle & I watching the games.

Then came the downfall of Frank Gore and the lack of play from Malcom Floyd.

Now, it's just me. All alone standing over Spae's vanquished corpse. That's right, the guy with the third most points scored in the league is probably not making the playoffs.

Well as far as I'm concerned, I'm not just playing for me anymore. So for this week, and God willing the playoffs, I'm going to meet each challenge head on with the same aggressive attitude. That's what Spae would've wanted, because as far as I'm concerned, from now on... I'm playing for two!

This one's for you Spae

Week 10: I'm Running Out of Excuses Here

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I'll just have to choose one off this list.

To say I'm pissed would be an understatement. I've run my mouth all year, and my team is now falling apart. But the main reason I didn't update things until now was because I had a pretty big account at work I'm in the process of closing.

That's all I'm saying for now. In situations where I'm this upset at my team's performance, I can only subscribe to the logic that less is more.

Week 9: Wadhams' Revenge List (revisited)

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I had to bring back vengeance panda for this one.

Fucking T! Of all the fucking people to lose to besides Ginny (Not that he's a threat this year), you're the worst. I hope your son grows up to be a Yankees fan. In fact, for the baby shower I'll probably sift through the gutters of the T.J. Maxx on Transit & Main to pick up some Yankees vestments that that place has in spades.

On the plus side, at least I was spared the frustration of watching each agonizing disappointment I faced this Sunday because I was working for my brother in Medina. Non-Union of course. Probably just because we wanted to get the job done properly.

Now before you get too pissed off at me for my Fantasy Football antics, just remember this; If I win this year (unlikely since I'm coming up inconsistent each week) I'll use the winnings to fund another party bus to Platinum. But that's not all! I figure we can make a whole night of it, maybe do it on a Saturday night when the Bandits play a home game. Tickets are dirt cheap, and the Peace Bridge is just down the road. Game starts at 7:30, finishes up by 10:00, we'll be at Platinum by 11:00 which leaves us three hours of debauchery (plus overtime). Trust me, those three hours are plenty when you're drinking XXX.

What other winner would do such a thing? Joey? But he'd have to leave the house and *gasp* spend time around us. We all know that's not going to happen.

So before you lash out at me, just remember how great things could be if I do win it all.

Week 8: Oh, you’ll pay! Don’t think you won’t pay!

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Happy Election Day everyone! Yes, today is the day when people all around the country cling to the false hope that they can turn things around if they just put someone different in there. Right Ginny? (15 Acquisitions and two trades).

With only five weeks remaining in the regular season, the playoff picture is gradually shaping up and the pussy fights in the UFL seem to have yielded Davie a .500 record

Pictured Above: A Classic UFL Showdown

Sorry Davie, but you're still not making the playoffs.

And speaking of the regular season winding down, I’d like to take a moment to discuss the moneys.

On draft day, the following people paid me their entry fee:

• Joe Pro
• Joey
• Devin
• T-Smoke
• Spae
• Vic paid half of the entry fee on October 3rd

As far as the 2009 acquisition fees go, the following have paid:

• Joe Pro didn’t have to pay last year’s because he spent a lot more than he owed buying beer, snacks and that unfortunate incident with Cafora’s
• Bronschidle doesn’t have to pay either since he wasn’t responsible for Tim’s pickups and it only totaled $1.
• Joey
• Devin
• T-Smoke
• Davie
• Spae
• Vic

So please, if you can find the time I would really appreciate you getting me the money. Especially the acquisition fees since I doubt Joe Pro will be kind enough to finance the booze and food every season.

I hate to seem like I’m calling anyone out, but here’s the list of those who still need to pay:

• Urgie – 5 Acquisitions = $5 + 100 Entry Fee
• Rock – 10 Acquisitions = $10 + 100 Entry Fee
• Don – 7 Acquisitions = $7 + 100 Entry Fee
• Vic – $50 entry fee
• Davie – $100 Entry Fee
• Bronschidle – $100 Entry Fee

Week 7: Busey IS Fucking Crazy!

First off, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for not updating things. No, I wasn't seething in bitter agony over the Tony Romo injury, I was sick. Still am actually, so I'm going to keep this short. I blame standing out in Devin's driveway drinking in the rain and cold Saturday afternoon.

And second, I'd like to say congratulations to Joey for his INSANE point output for the week. Sorry it had to be at your expense Spae. But well done Joey, your point total of 171 tied me for the highest this season. Once again, the computer program comes through.

Week 6: Wadhams' Revenge List

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Fuck Off:

• Joey
• Ginny
• T-Smoke
• Davie
• Rock (Just Because)

This is just like World War II. I'm Germany, Ginny is the U.S.A., and Joey is playing the role of the Jews.

I'm trying to do what's right for the U.S.A. and take down the damned Jews, (Ginny's division rival) when the U.S.A. gets manipulated into believing that they're doing the right thing by agreeing to help the Jews in their battle with Germany. The U.S.A. oblivious to their shortsighted action (trading Bowe within their division) help the Jews defeat the country that was trying to help them. (Six teams make the playoffs. Odds are 3 NFL teams are going to be there again [just like last year], and there are the two division winners. That leaves one spot left! You just made your division leader stronger while you're still in last!)

End result, the Jews win again because the U.S.A. valued the wrong things!

Week 5: I'm Pissed!

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I should be happy as a result of winning, but there have just been too many other things that are making me mad!

A damn train carrying Ginny & T’s precious coal was stopped on the tracks across Campbell just before Route 31 this morning. It wasn’t moving, it was just sitting there forcing everyone (myself included) to wait. Man, fuck your coal! On top of everything else, the Sabres completely tanked last night.

I should be in a better mood. I’m back in the win column, the NFL is still tearing it up (there’s a reason 5 of the 7 league champions come from our division), hunting season starts Saturday & the best month of sports is in full swing.

Fortunately, I read an article which explains how emotions can be directly tied to facial expressions.

So in order to make myself feel better, I found these pictures of corgis:








And most importantly, a crippled gook crashing his scooter through some elevator doors and falling to his death.



And now, I am happy once again.