Playoffs & 2023 Draft Order

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The regular season has ended and the playoffs are set to begin.

Since he had the most points scored against him this season (1606.5), Rob will select the random numbers which will generate the 2023 schedule.

Per the new rule for finishing dead last, Rob will also be the one to buy every other member in the league a 24oz. tall drink of their choosing.

B-Shorts will be paid the $50 cash bonus for scoring the most points this regular season with 1731.5.

The 2023 draft order will be as follows:

1. Rob (Regular Season: 2-11-1)
2. Coach EK (Regular Season: 3-11)
3. Vic (Regular Season: 5-9)
4. T-Smoke (Regular Season: 7-7, 1473 Points Scored)
5. Joe Pro (Regular Season: 7-7, 1486 Points Scored)
6. Wadhams (Regular Season: 8-6)
7. Devin (Regular Season: 8-5-1, 1556.5 Points Scored)
8. Rock (Regular Season: 8-5-1, 1666.5 Points Scored)
9. ??? (Lost Consolation Game)
10. ??? (Won Consolation Game: $200)
11. ??? (Lost Championship Game: $600)
12. ??? (2022 UDFFL Champion: $1,000)

Crowder

 

2022 Draft Recap

The draft is done, the schedule is set.

Not an eventful day. No fights, no wagers on the season, the only thing worthy of note was the change to the rules where the loser has to buy a tall boy drink of choice for each of the members.

Let's get the season underway!

 

Your 2021 Champion: B-Shorts

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The 2021 season has ended and the NFL got another championship.

Since he had the most points scored against him this season (1696), Vic will select the random numbers which will generate the 2022 schedule.

Devin will be paid the $50 cash bonus for scoring the most points this regular season with 1880.5.

The 2022 draft order will be as follows:

1. Davie (Regular Season: 3-11)
2. Coach EK (Regular Season: 3-10-1)
3. T-Smoke (Regular Season: 6-8, 1576.5 Points Scored)
4. Urgie (Regular Season: 6-8, 1584.5 Points Scored)
5. Vic (Regular Season: 6-7-1, 1415 Points Scored)
6. Rob (Regular Season: 6-7-1, 1505.5 Points Scored)
7. Wadhams (Lost 1st Round. Regular Season: 7-7, 1538 Points Scored)
8. Joe Pro (Lost 1st Round. Regular Season: 7-7, 1600.5 Points Scored)
9. Don (Lost Consolation Game)
10. Devin (Won Consolation Game = $200)
11. Rock (Lost Championship Game = $600)
12. B-Shorts (2021 UDFFL Champion = $1,000)

The 2021 acquisition fees (which I would appreciate everyone paying on draft day) will be put into the league treasury fund to pay the expenses for the 2022 draft, trophy engraving and post-season party expenses. The list is as follows:

NFL

• Jeremy B-Shorts: 12 Acquisitions = $20 (Paid 1/3/2022)
• Wadhams: 9 Acquisitions = $9
• Eric: 10 Acquisitions = $10
• Vic: 10 Acquisitions = $10

UFL

• Joe Pro: 16 Acquisitions = $40
• Davie: 14 Acquisitions = $30
• Urgie: 6 Acquisitions = $6
• Don: 16 Acquisitions = $40

XFL

• Rob: 9 Acquisitions = $9
• Rock: 18 Acquisitions = $50
• T-Smoke: 6 Acquisitions = $6
• Devin: 13 Acquisitions = $25

Playoffs & 2022 Draft Order

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The regular season has ended and the playoffs are set to begin.

Since he had the most points scored against him this season (1696), Vic will select the random numbers which will generate the 2022 schedule.

Devin will be paid the $50 cash bonus for scoring the most points this regular season with 1880.5.

The 2022 draft order will be as follows:

1. Davie (Regular Season: 3-11)
2. Coach EK (Regular Season: 3-10-1)
3. T-Smoke (Regular Season: 6-8, 1576.5 Points Scored)
4. Urgie (Regular Season: 6-8, 1584.5 Points Scored)
5. Vic (Regular Season: 6-7-1, 1415 Points Scored)
6. Rob (Regular Season: 6-7-1, 1505.5 Points Scored)
7. Wadhams (Lost 1st Round. Regular Season: 7-7, 1538 Points Scored)
8. Joe Pro (Lost 1st Round. Regular Season: 7-7, 1600.5 Points Scored)

Looking Toward 2021

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Mercifully, The 2020 regular season is over, so here's the setup for next year.

Since he had the most points scored against him this season (1634.5), Eric will select the random numbers which will generate the 2021 schedule.

Finally, B-Shorts will be paid the $50 cash bonus for scoring the most points this regular season with 1629.5.

The 2021 draft order will be as follows:

1. Wadhams (Regular Season: 3-10)
2. Rob (Regular Season: 4-9)
3. Don (Regular Season: 5-8, 1270.5 Points Scored)
4. Coach EK (Regular Season: 5-8, 1479 Points Scored)
5. Davie (Regular Season: 6-7)
6. T-Smoke (Regular Season: 7-6, Missed Playoffs)

7. Vic (Lost 1st Round. Regular Season: 7-6)
8. Urgie (Lost 1st Round. Regular Season: 8-5)

9. Joe Pro (Lost Consolation Game)
10. Rock (Won Consolation Game = $200)
11. B-Shorts (Lost Championship Game = $600)
12. Devin (2019 UDFFL Champion = $1,000)

The 2020 acquisition fees (which I would appreciate everyone paying on draft day) will be put into the league treasury fund to pay the expenses for the 2021 draft, trophy engraving and post-season party expenses. The list is as follows:

NFL

• Jeremy B-Shorts: 13 Acquisitions = $25
• Wadhams: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Eric: 14 Acquisitions = $30
• Vic: 17 Acquisitions = $45

UFL

• Joe Pro: 18 Acquisitions = $50
• Davie: 11 Acquisitions = $15
• Urgie: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Don: 12 Acquisitions = $20

XFL

• Rob: 7 Acquisitions = $7
• Rock: 12 Acquisitions = $20
• T-Smoke: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Devin: 9 Acquisitions = $9

2020 Draft Order

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The 2019 season is over, so here's the setup for next year.

Since he had the most points scored against him this season (1639), Devin will select the random numbers which will generate the 2020 schedule.

Finally, Rock will be paid the $50 cash bonus for scoring the most points this regular season with 1685.

The 2019 draft order will be as follows:

1. Devin (Regular Season: 3-10)
2. Spae (Regular Season: 4-9, 1305 Points Scored)
3. B-Shorts (Regular Season: 4-9, 1422 Points Scored)
4. Urgie (Regular Season: 4-8-1)
5. Wadhams (Regular Season: 5-8)
6. Davie (Regular Season: 6-7)
7. T-Smoke (Lost 1st Round. Regular Season: 7-6)
8. Rob (Lost 1st Round. Regular Season: 8-5)
9. Vic (Lost Consolation Game)
10. Don (Won Consolation Game = $200)
11. Joe Pro (Lost Championship Game = $600)
12. Rock (2019 UDFFL Champion = $1,000)

The 2019 acquisition fees (which I would appreciate everyone paying on draft day) will be put into the league treasury fund to pay the expenses for the 2020 draft, trophy engraving and post-season party expenses. The list is as follows:

NFL (Real Niggas)

• Jeremy B-Shorts: 4 Acquisitions = $4
• Wadhams: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Spae: 6 Acquisitions = $60
• Vic: 9 Acquisitions = $9

UFL (Fuck Niggas)

• Joe Pro: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Davie: 14 Acquisitions = $30
• Urgie: 10 Acquisitions = $10
• Don: 5 Acquisitions = $5

XFL (Hood Niggas)

• Rob: 9 Acquisitions = $9
• Rock: 7 Acquisitions = $7
• T-Smoke: 12 Acquisitions = $20
• Devin: 10 Acquisitions = $10

Your 2018 Champion: T-Smoke

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T-Smoke finally captured his first championship in his 16th year as a member of the UDFFL. I think we can all agree this was a Christmas miracle.

In the runner-up position was the only other founding member of the league who's name does not grace the Underdogs Champions Cup; Urgie

In the end, Gurly's injury proved to be too much for Urgie to overcome and it was a close final that had to be determined by the Monday night game.

The consolation game between Joe Pro and Devin was decisively won by Joe Pro as he clinched third place.

Since he had the most points scored against him this season (Narrowly edging out B-Shorts 1647 to 1645.5), Davie will select the random numbers which will generate the 2019 schedule. T-Smoke picked this season's schedule and not only won the championship, but screwed his brother in the process. Bravo.

Finally, Devin will be paid the $50 cash bonus for scoring the most points this regular season with 1896.

The 2019 draft order will be as follows:

1. Davie (Regular Season: 2-11)
2. B-Shorts (Regular Season: 4-9)
3. Rob (Regular Season: 4-8-1)
4. Don (Regular Season: 5-8)
5. Rock (Regular Season: 5-7-1)
6. Wadhams (Regular Season: 6-7)
7. Vic (Regular Season: 8-5, 1508 Points Scored)
8. Spae (Regular Season: 8-5, 1600 Points Scored)
9. Devin (Lost Consolation Game)
10. Joe Pro (Won Consolation Game = $200)
11. Urgie (Lost Championship Game = $600)
12. T-Smoke (2018 UDFFL Champion = $1,000)

The 2018 acquisition fees (which I would appreciate everyone paying on draft day) will be put into the league treasury fund to pay the expenses for the 2019 draft, trophy engraving and post-season party expenses. The list is as follows:

NFL (Real Niggas)

• Jeremy B-Shorts: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Wadhams: 7 Acquisitions = $7
• Spae: 18 Acquisitions = $50
• Vic: 9 Acquisitions = $9

UFL (Fuck Niggas)

• Joe Pro: 12 Acquisitions = $20
• Davie: 10 Acquisitions = $10
• Urgie: 10 Acquisitions = $10
• Don: 6 Acquisitions = $6

XFL (Hood Niggas)

• Rob: 9 Acquisitions = $9
• Rock: 11 Acquisitions = $15
• T-Smoke: 16 Acquisitions = $40
• Ginny: 14 Acquisitions = $30

2018 Playoffs

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The teams that made the playoffs are:

1. Devin (Division Winner) (Regular Season 11-2)
2. Joe Pro (Division Winner) (Regular Season 9-4)
3. Spae (Division Winner) (Regular Season 8-5)
4. T-Smoke (Regular Season 8-5, 1542.5 PointsScored)
5. Vic (Regular Season 8-5, 1508 Points Scored)
6. Urgie (Regular Season 7-6)

Of the six teams that missed the playoffs this year, this is how they will draft in 2019:

1. Davie (Regular Season: 2-11)
2. B-Shorts (Regular Season: 4-9)
3. Rob (Regular Season: 4-8-1)
4. Don (Regular Season: 5-8)
5. Rock (Regular Season: 5-7-1)
6. Wadhams (Regular Season: 6-7)
7. Vic (Regular Season: 5-8, 1508 Points Scored)
8. Spae (Regular Season: 8-5, 1600 Points Scored)

2018 Season

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I'm working on finding a new hosting site since all the other ones I've used have been giving me trouble. Until then, please enjoy this post of the annual draft day picture.

2018 Keepers

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The 5:00PM deadline has come and gone, and we had four teams that decided to not keep anyone. Here's the following list of players.

Don

• No Keepers

  Vic

• No Keepers

  T-Smoke

• Ezekiel Elliott

Rock

• Christian McCaffrey
• Davante Adams

  B-Shorts

• No Keepers

Urgie

• Michael Thomas
• Todd Gurley II

Davie

• Julio Jones
• Devonta Freeman
• Keenan Allen

Wadhams

• David Johnson
• Antonio Brown
• Rob Gronkowski

Joe Pro

• Leonard Fournette
• DeAndre Hopkins
• Aaron Rodgers
• Adam Thielen

Rob

• No Keepers

Devin

• Le'Veon Bell
• Odell Beckham Jr.
• Melvin Gordon
• Alvin Kamara

Spae

• Kareem Hunt
• Travis Kelce
• Stefon Diggs
• Jerick McKinnon

As a result, the draft will be as follows:

Round 1

1. Don

2. Vic

3. B-Shorts

4. Rob

Round 2

5. Don

6. Vic

7. T-Smoke

8. B-Shorts

9. Rob

Round 3

 10. Don

11. Vic

12. T-Smoke

13. Rock

14. B-Shorts

15. Urgie

16. Rob

Round 4

17. Don

18. Vic

19. T-Smoke

20. Rock

21. B-Shorts

22. Urgie

23. Davie

24. Wadhams

25. Rob

Round 5

26. Don

27. Vic

28. T-Smoke

29. Rock

30. B-Shorts

31. Urgie

32. Davie

33. Wadhams

34. Joe Pro

35. Rob

36. Devin

37. Spae

Round 6

38. Don

39. Vic

40. T-Smoke

41. Rock

42. B-Shorts

43. Vic* (From Urgie)

44. Davie

45. Wadhams

46. Joe Pro

47. Rob

48. Devin

49. Spae

Here's a quick recap of how we got to this point:

The 2018 Draft Order is as follows:

1. Don (Regular Season: 3-10, 1186 Points for)
2. Vic (Regular Season: 4-9, 1137 Points for)
3. T-Smoke (Regular Season: 4-9, 1286.5 Points for)
4. Rock (Regular Season: 4-8-1, 1287.5 Points for)
5. B-Shorts (Regular Season: 5-8, 1373 Points for)
6. Urgie (Regular Season: 7-6, 1286 Points for)
7. Davie (Regular Season: 7-6, 1312.5 Points for)
8. Wadhams (Regular Season: 8-5, 1388.5 Points for)
9. Joe Pro (Lost Consolation Game)
10. Rob (Won Consolation Game)
11. Devin (Lost Championship Game)
12. Spae (2017 UDFFL Champion)

The 2017 acquisition fees (which I would appreciate everyone paying on draft day) will be put into the league treasury fund to pay the expenses for the 2018 draft, trophy engraving and post-season party expenses. The list is as follows:

NFL (Real Niggas)

• Jeremy B-Shorts: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Wadhams: 16 Acquisitions = $40
• Spae: 16 Acquisitions = $40
• Vic: 8 Acquisitions = $8

UFL (Fuck Niggas)

• Joe Pro: 19 Acquisitions = $55
• Davie: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Urgie: 7 Acquisitions = $7
• Don: 8 Acquisitions = $8

XFL (Hood Niggas)

• Rob: 9 Acquisitions = $9
• Rock: 4 Acquisitions = $4
• T-Smoke: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Ginny: 15 Acquisitions = $35

Vic and Urgie made a trade on November 16th, 2017.
*Vic receives Urgie's 2018 6th round draft pick in exchange for Michael Crabtree

The draft will take place on Sunday, September 2nd, 2018 at Devin & Krissy's House at 2:00PM

It's That Time

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"You KNOW it's that time."

"We had the $240... We had to have the pudding."

The Bills are engaged in OTA's, the weather has been scorching hot, and Newfane is scrimmaging Wilson this week. All signs point to the game of football inching ever closer to the regular season. I've even begun experimenting with duplicating the cole slaw recipe from Primanti Bros. for the season opener.

Seemed like as good a time as any to reactivate the league.

First things, first:

The 2018 Draft Order is as follows:

1. Don (Regular Season: 3-10, 1186 Points for)
2. Vic (Regular Season: 4-9, 1137 Points for)
3. T-Smoke (Regular Season: 4-9, 1286.5 Points for)
4. Rock (Regular Season: 4-8-1, 1287.5 Points for)
5. B-Shorts (Regular Season: 5-8, 1373 Points for)
6. Urgie (Regular Season: 7-6, 1286 Points for)
7. Davie (Regular Season: 7-6, 1312.5 Points for)
8. Wadhams (Regular Season: 8-5, 1388.5 Points for)
9. Joe Pro (Lost Consolation Game)
10. Rob (Won Consolation Game)
11. Devin (Lost Championship Game)
12. Spae (2017 UDFFL Champion)

The 2017 acquisition fees (which I would appreciate everyone paying on draft day) will be put into the league treasury fund to pay the expenses for the 2018 draft, trophy engraving and post-season party expenses. The list is as follows:

NFL (Real Niggas)

• Jeremy B-Shorts: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Wadhams: 16 Acquisitions = $40
• Spae: 16 Acquisitions = $40
• Vic: 8 Acquisitions = $8

UFL (Fuck Niggas)

• Joe Pro: 19 Acquisitions = $55
• Davie: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Urgie: 7 Acquisitions = $7
• Don: 8 Acquisitions = $8

XFL (Hood Niggas)

• Rob: 9 Acquisitions = $9
• Rock: 4 Acquisitions = $4
• T-Smoke: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Ginny: 15 Acquisitions = $35

Vic and Urgie made a trade on November 16th, 2017.
*Vic receives Urgie's 2018 6th round draft pick in exchange for Michael Crabtree

The draft will take place on Sunday, September 2nd, 2018 at Devin & Krissy's House

Any questions, please just let me know.

-Wadhams 

2018 Draft Order

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The 2018 Draft Order is as follows:

1. Don (Regular Season: 3-10, 1186 Points for)
2. Vic (Regular Season: 4-9, 1137 Points for)
3. T-Smoke (Regular Season: 4-9, 1286.5 Points for)
4. Rock (Regular Season: 4-8-1, 1287.5 Points for)
5. B-Shorts (Regular Season: 5-8, 1373 Points for)
6. Urgie (Regular Season: 7-6, 1286 Points for)
7. Davie (Regular Season: 7-6, 1312.5 Points for)
8. Wadhams (Regular Season: 8-5, 1388.5 Points for)
9. Joe Pro (Lost Consolation Game)
10. Rob (Won Consolation Game)
11. Devin (Lost Championship Game)
12. Spae (2017 UDFFL Champion)

The 2017 acquisition fees (which I would appreciate everyone paying on draft day) will be put into the league treasury fund to pay the expenses for the 2018 draft, trophy engraving and post-season party expenses. The list is as follows:

NFL (Real Niggas)

• Jeremy B-Shorts: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Wadhams: 16 Acquisitions = $40
• Spae: 16 Acquisitions = $40
• Vic: 8 Acquisitions = $8

UFL (Fuck Niggas)

• Joe Pro: 19 Acquisitions = $55
• Davie: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Urgie: 7 Acquisitions = $7
• Don: 8 Acquisitions = $8

XFL (Hood Niggas)

• Rob: 9 Acquisitions = $9
• Rock: 4 Acquisitions = $4
• T-Smoke: 8 Acquisitions = $8
• Ginny: 15 Acquisitions = $35

The Wadhams Dynasty

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It's pretty safe to say that I've cemented my legacy as a dynasty. Three championships in four years, and four titles in nine seasons.

It definitely wasn't easy this year. T-Smoke had the best team in the league all season, and I barely eked out a victory by 3.5 points, winning 132.5 to 129. I haven't checked the archives, but it has to be one of, if not the, narrowest margins of victory in a championship game.

Speaking of T-Smoke, I have to tip my hat to you, good sir. You put together a great team and gave me a run for my money. I actually turned off the television when Elliott scored his second touchdown, and was convinced that you had beaten me.

I even started a write-up congratulating you on the victory, and how you deserved to be champion. Being a hard worker, and dedicated father to three of the coolest boys I've ever met, it was a serious and heartfelt ode to one of the league's founding members finally claiming his place in the annals of history.

Then Rock's boy Dez Bryant threw a touchdown pass to Witten, and handed me the game. I hope you're not overly upset. I know I would be if I was in your place. Fortunately, time will make things better and you'll have a solid foundation on which to build next year's roster.

I know my victory upsets many of you, but I can't say it bothers me one bit. I've come to embrace my role as the "Tom Brady" or "Villain" of our fantasy football league. I called my shot these past two seasons before the draft even took place.

The good news is that I'm going to take next year off from winning a championship. Oh, I'll play, and I'll throw my $150 into the mix, but with my overwhelming dominance, and everyone so deeply involved with Draft Kings, I don't want people to lose interest in the UDFFL.

Finally, after the epic beat down Don layed on Devin (239-96) in the consolation game, here's the final draft order for 2017:

1. Rob (Regular Season: 2-11 1118 Points for)
2. Davie (Regular Season: 4-9, 1487 Points for)
3. Rock (Regular Season: 5-8, 1283 Points for)
4. Urgie (Regular Season: 6-7, 1347.5 Points for)
5. Spae (Regular Season: 6-7, 1400.5 Points for)
6. Joe Pro (Regular Season: 6-6-1, 1355 Points for)
7. B-Shorts (Regular Season 7-6, 1310 Points Scored)
8. Vic (Regular Season 7-6, 1341.5 Points Scored)
9. Devin (Lost Consolation Game)
10. Don (Won Consolation Game)
11. T-Smoke (Lost Championship Game)
12. Wadhams (2016 Champion)

So congratulations to me, and I look forward to seeing what the 2017 season holds.

Here's To You T-Smoke. You've Come A Long Way...

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Congratulations T. As one of the original members of the UDFFL, you are one of only two owners to never win a championship (the other being Urgie). Not only that, but you've never even finished in the money! Well all that changed this season. It's hard to believe that after finishing dead last in 2015 with only three wins, you're on the cusp of your first league title!

Even though you'll be facing me as I pursue my second consecutive championship, I can honestly say that it wouldn't be horrible losing to you. At least that's the way I feel right now. Next weekend might be a different story.

Though I'm emotionally preparing myself as best as I can for the outcome, preliminary projections have you in complete control. As of now, you have a total of 7 WR's and RB's in the top 20 for point output this week. My only hope is that with all the choices you have, you'll second and triple guess yourself out of the best lineup.

Be that as it may, I don't feel like I should even be in the final game when looking at the train-wreck of a week my team had. I'm trying to tell myself to be grateful for what I've got rather than what I wish I'll have. After all, it's Christmas. Then I remember all the fucking injuries I had this year, and top talent I had to throw back into the draft pool back in September, and I'm back to being my usual bitter self.

In case any of you forgot, the payout will be:

1st Place: $1000
2nd Place: $600
3rd Place: $200

Finally, here's the revised draft order for 2017

1. Rob (Regular Season: 2-11 1118 Points for)
2. Davie (Regular Season: 4-9, 1487 Points for)
3. Rock (Regular Season: 5-8, 1283 Points for)
4. Urgie (Regular Season: 6-7, 1347.5 Points for)
5. Spae (Regular Season: 6-7, 1400.5 Points for)
6. Joe Pro (Regular Season: 6-6-1, 1355 Points for)
7. B-Shorts (Regular Season 7-6, 1310 Points Scored)
8. Vic (Regular Season 7-6, 1341.5 Points Scored)

Don & T-Smoke Both Made The Playoffs?!?!

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Yes, and in the same year no less! I guess if the Cubs can win the World Series, and the city of Cleveland gets a championship, it only stands to reason that T-Smoke should begin the post season as the league's #1 seed.

Believe it or not, I'm actually glad to see both T & Don make the playoffs. I sometimes forget that interest in fantasy football can be somewhat lacking when you're competing in Draft Kings. I'm just glad we play in a league that allows teams to turn themselves around in a single year. T-Smoke finished 12th in 2016, and Don finished 11th. Now they're the 1st and 3rd seeded playoff teams.

In honor of Don's inaugural venture into the UDFFL post season, I decided to go with a Seinfeld motif.
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On to the next order of business. I did some preliminary number crunching and came up with the following. Now bear in mind, this might not be totally accurate, but here is the way I see things working:

The teams that made the playoffs are:

1. T-Smoke (Division Winner) (Regular Season 11-2)
2. Wadhams (Division Winner) (Regular Season 8-5)
3. Don (Division Winner) (Regular Season 6-6-1)
4. Devin (Regular Season 9-4)
5. Vic (Regular Season 7-6, 1341.5 Points Scored)
6. B-Shorts (Regular Season 7-6, 1310 Points Scored)

Of the six teams that missed the playoffs this year, this is how they will draft in 2017:

1. Rob (Regular Season: 2-11 1118 Points for)
2. Davie (Regular Season: 4-9, 1487 Points for)
3. Rock (Regular Season: 5-8, 1283 Points for)
4. Urgie (Regular Season: 6-7, 1347.5 Points for)
5. Spae (Regular Season: 6-7, 1400.5 Points for)
6. Joe Pro (Regular Season: 6-6-1, 1355 Points for)

In closing, good luck to the four teams playing this week...
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Week 12: Playoffs?!

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Well Thanksgiving weekend has come and gone and that means only one thing: the end of the fantasy football regular season is upon us.

With only one week remaining before the playoffs (PLAYOFFS?!) begin, here's a look at how things will be shaping up...

With his victory this week, T-Smoke has secured the first overall spot in the playoff bracket. This means you can take the next two weeks off and get ready for Sunday December 18th since you don't have any players on your team going that Thursday or Saturday.

The second seed is still up for grabs between myself and either Don, Joe Pro, and Urgie since we are the other two division leaders. If I can beat Urgie this week, I've got it. If Don beats T-Smoke, combined with me losing, then he'll start the postseason at #2. If Don wins, he'll clinch the division regardless.

Even though Devin has a better record as of now, it's just his tough luck that he's in the same division as T.

Here's a quick overview of the way things look (I haven't added up all the scores to determine tie breakers, so the bubble teams definitely need to win to have a chance at punching their ticket)

In

• T-Smoke
• Wadhams
• Devin

Out

• Rob
• Davie
• Rock

On the Bubble

• Vic
• Spae
• B-Shorts
• Joe Pro
• Don
• Urgie

If Don wins, he'll take the division due to the amount of points he's scored giving him the tiebreaker.
Urgie needs to win and also have Don & Joe Pro lose
A Joe Pro win, combined with a loss by Don would give him the division
Since I clinched the division, Vic, Spae, and B-Shorts will need to win, and get some help (depending on how many points they put up this year and who in the other divisions loses next week)

In closing, here's how the bracket will look after next Monday night:

1. T-Smoke
2. ???
3. ???
4. Devin
5. ???
6. ???

Good luck!

Week 7: The Pull-Out Method

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Devin & I started a fantasy football league through ESPN back in 2001. Joey's league had ended after the 1999 season and I still hadn't gathered everyone to begin the UDFFL. It was a cool Sunday morning on November 4th, 2001. My team, the "Alabama Exit Wounds" was taking on Devin's that particular week, and I wanted to make sure I came away with the victory since we didn't know anyone else in the league.

While rummaging through the free agent pool, I saw the great white hype: Joe Jurevicius. Quite possibly the best mediocre white receiver since Drew Bennett.

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Rather than play it safe, I decided to take a chance. Jurevicius only had one touchdown through the first seven weeks of the season, but I was feeling lucky! I grabbed him off the wire just minutes before kick-off and threw him into my starting lineup.

Wouldn't you know it? He went on to get two touchdowns. The only touchdowns he would catch for the rest of the season. If memory serves, Devin was aghast at the fact that Jurevicius was the instrument of his destruction.

Ever since that day nearly 15 years ago, I've been enamored with finding that gem of a player who will shine on the one day I pick him up and place him into my lineup.

It was the points earned by that longshot sleeper which keeps me chasing the big score. This must be how gamblers feel when they want to roll the dice one more time, knowing that success is just around the corner.

On Sunday, just before after 12:00PM, I came across Zach Zenner:
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Or as I liked to call him, the second coming of Joe Jurevicus. Seeing as how Matt Forte had been a huge disappointment the previous four weeks, I decided to try my luck once again.

As is the case every time I pull someone out of my lineup at the last second, they outperform all expectations. While the player I substitute manages to have an off day.

Forte's 29 points on my bench, versus the 8 points Zenner earned single-handedly cost me the victory this week.

The moral of the story: Don't trust your last minute judgement, it will only betray you. Congratulations on the win T.

Week 6: Lick Dez Nuts? How About You Suck My (David) Johnson Instead?

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I'd probably be in a better mood right now if I didn't just watch the Sabres blow the lead on three separate occasions on the way to a 4-3 loss to the Flames. It's hard to believe it only cost a first round pick in the trade that brought Robin Lehner to the team.

Sorry, but the beginning and end of hockey season always seem to be the times when I'm most invested in the outcome of the games.

Combine that with the impending presidential election, and the stupidity of the American populace at the forefront of it all, and it all adds up to putting me into a highly agitated state.

But, I suppose I should look on the bright side of things. I managed to beat Rock and avoid losing to the team with the worst record in the league. If only I had been like Spae and made a side bet with him for a six pack of Pump-King. If that were the case, I could be sipping my victory beer just in time for the start of the 2017 NHL Playoffs given Rock's propensity for paying six months late.

It appears that T-Smoke's team is for real this season. He's leading the league in both overall record and total points scored. Davie's team isn't nearly as bad as his record indicates, he's just had an incredible amount of points scored against him. Those Haylett boys sure do love throwing all of their eggs into the basket of an NFC South team.

As for me, I'll do my best to hand T-Smoke his second loss of the season this week. I'm just glad my boy Gronk has returned to form.
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This week also marks the official halfway point of the season, so if you haven't paid your entry fee as of yet, you might want to start setting a little bit of money aside each week so you don't have to cough up the entire $150 all at once.

Week 5: We Are At the 38.5% Point of the Season

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This gif pretty well sums up my season to this point.

Short post this week since I just got back from the weekend trip to Vegas & L.A. It was easily the best vacation I've been on in almost 15 years (Spring Break in March of 2002).

Anyone who's vacationed with me knows how easily I get pissed off with my travel companions. Fortunately, that was not the case this time. From Friday morning until Monday night, it was a blast.

I might do a post about the trip later, but now is not the time.

Congratulations to T-Smoke and Joe Pro for holding down first and second place in the overall standings.

Week 3: Injuries Abound

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I had a much better gif of a dude on a four wheeler riding a wheelie in the road before getting hit head-on by a car. Unfortunately uploading large files seems to include problems with different hosting sites, and I don't feel like dealing with them at this late hour.

I don't know if it's because I'm dealing with it on a personal level this season, or I just finished playing against Rob, but it seems there have been a lot more injuries than normal this year.

I've lost Adrian Peterson and Ameer Abdullah for a good chunk (if not all) of the season. Gronk has been injured for the first three weeks and has yet to record a single point. And Spencer Ware has been dealing with a toe injury.

Linhart has it worse with four high quality starters all with asterisk's next to their names; Shane Vereen, Sammy Watkins, Doug Martin, and Arian Foster.

Vic has been struck by the injury bug as well. First losing Kennan Allen during the first game of the season, then Jonathan Stewart, Rashad Jennings, and Delanie Walker all getting hurt.

Devin has five players marked with an asterisk: Thomas Rawls, Tyler Eifert, Antonio Gates, C.J. Prosise, and Kenneth Dixon. And I'm not even including the fact that Le'Veon Bell has missed the first three games due to suspension.

Rock's got Donte Moncrief, Zach Ertz, Corey Coleman, and Danny Woodhead injured. Plus, Dez Bryant is getting an MRI on his knee after having to leave the game Sunday night, and Jarvis Landry is being held out of practice with a shoulder injury.

T-Smoke's got Jeremy Langford & Deion Lewis. Not much concern there.

Joe Pro's only dealing with Willie Snead being out.

Spae: Jamaal Charles, & Virgil Green. Don: Jordan Cameron.

Urgie, B-Shorts and Davie's teams don't seem to have any significant injuries so who knows what their excuse is.

The point is, that this year seems to be hinging on depth more than any other season in the past. If you're lucky enough to have the core of your team remain relatively healthy, you've got a better shot than the rest of the league who seems to be facing more than their fair share of health issues.

Week 2: The Ballad of Barbaro Peterson

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Back when I drafted Adri... Barbaro Peterson in 2007, even I didn't know the fantasy stud he would become. It was a year of dominance I'd never experienced before. My first taste of fantasy greatness. Even though I lost in the championship game to Vic, I knew I had plenty of good years ahead with Barbaro leading the charge.

But even at the beginning of something so great, I knew that like all things, it was destined to end at some point. That's why at the end of 2007, I promised myself I would only keep him for as long as he was a viable starter. I thought I could drop him just before his play began to tail off.

This year I nearly cut him loose. But, much like George Costanza, "I got greedy. Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami."
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I thought I could squeeze one more season of magic from him. It was not to be. Though in all fairness, Devonta Freeman and LeSean McCoy aren't doing much better. Barbaro had only gotten me 5 points out of the first two weeks of the season.
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Now, my Jewggernaut of a roster is down one hall of famer, and I'm not wasting a dollar on picking up Asiata. What's worse is that I'm slumming it up in a group of eight teams at .500. How do you people live like this? In the purgatory of fantasy football mediocrity. I'm not worried though, I've still got David Johnson going up against the Bills defense on Sunday. That alone should guarantee I hand Linhart his first ever loss as a member of our league. Unless this is the time Rob Ryan executes a competent defense. I guess based on the law of infinite probability that it could happen.

It's still too soon to determine which teams are the strongest so I'll hold off on any power rankings/evaluation of the rosters until at least next week.

Until then, I think we can all take a moment and enjoy the fact that Rock is mired in a winless start to the season, and he's indebted to Spae for some booze.

Week 1: ...And We Are Off!

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As I have made a habit of doing the past few seasons, I try not to look too deeply into the outcomes of the first week of the season. A single week isn't really a valid way to measure a team's quality. I like to cite the 2008 campaign when I lost the first two games, only to go undefeated the rest of the way.

Truth be told, I really just want to give the rest of the field a false sense of hope to keep you all from scuttling to your Draft Kings accounts in a feeble attempt to salvage what little fantasy football dignity you have remaining.

But in all seriousness, here are some of my thoughts on the outcomes of the first week's games.

Wadhams v. Ginty

• Don't feel bad Devin, you never had a chance. Even with Rob Gronkowski out and Adrian Peterson only getting me three points, I still had the league's highest score this week. Plus, your boy Le'Veon Bell wasn't playing. I seriously hope you can compete this year so that we can continue the rivalry that's been brewing over these past few seasons.

Rob v. Davie

• It was good to see Rob get his first victory as an official member of the UDFFL, I hope he continues to progress and eventually build his team into a contender. As for Davie, if it makes you feel any better, Devonta Freeman doubled Adrian Peterson's point total this week, and you managed to grab Tevin Coleman in the 10th round. Triple digit points can't be too far away.

Don v. Rock

• Don was able to defeat Rock this week on the strength of the performances Doug Baldwin, Amari Cooper, and Mike Evans turned in. Consistency is the linchpin of fantasy football, and Don has been consistently bad since joining the league. I genuinely would like to see the piss taker's watch the postseason from inside the playoff bracket. Rock's team continued it's failure to impress. The fact that he won a championship is a wound that we all must bear forever, for every one of us (except Rob) need to share in the responsibility of being unable to prevent such a catastrophe.

T-Smoke v. B-Shorts

• In the battle of the hyphenated nicknames, T-Smoke was able to win convincingly due in no small part to the numbers put up by Jew Brees and DeAngelo Williams. We'll have to see how things progress when Le'Veon Bell returns from his suspension. I can't really figure out the quality of either of your teams right now. Some of the players I expected to perform well did poorly, and vice versa.

Vic v. Urgie

• C.J. Anderson and Andrew Luck managed to net a total of 70 points for Vic. Whenever you have that level of production from your keepers, you're off to a great start. The loss of Keenan Allen is a major blow since depth at the RB/WR spot will be crucial with the coming bye weeks. Urgie managed to get a decent number of points out of Jeremy Maclin despite the fact that he's a WR on the Kansas City Chiefs. Hopefully Gurley can iron out whatever it is that held him to only 4.5 points.

Spae v. Joe Pro

• Classic shootout. Neither team was able to pull away from one another until the very end. It's one of those matchups that is great to watch, but horrible to be a part of. Spae, you can blame T-Smoke for this since he was the one who selected the numbers that determined the matchups on the schedule. Brandin Cooks seems like a good draft pick/keeper, and the fact that LeSean McCoy was able to put up 14 points in an abysmal offensive game for the Bills means things aren't as bad as your week 1 loss indicates. The only thing that keeps me from labeling Joe Pro's team as a contender is the lack of point output from his bench. As I stated before, bye weeks force everyone's team into a "next man up" situation. But if his starters continue to do well, he can afford to drop a few points from his week 1 total.

2016 Draft Recap

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Well, another draft day goes in the books, and to be honest, I think this was one of, if not the most fun we have had in the league's 14 year history.

Whenever you can avoid work related travel, or Elton John concerts, and get everyone at the draft, you're already at a great starting point.

In keeping with my tradition of adding to the draft day recap post I started in 2014, this week's write-up takes place entirely on the league's blogspot page. Draft Day History

The 2016 Keepers Are In!

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The 5:00PM deadline has come and gone, and we had three teams that decided to not keep anyone. Here's the following list of players.

T-Smoke 

• No Keepers

Don 

• Mike Evans
• Amari Cooper
• Lamar Miller

Urgie 

• Todd Gurley
• Julian Edelman

Spae 

• No Keepers

B-Shorts 

• No Keepers

Vic 

• Andrew Luck
• C.J. Anderson
• Keenan Allen
• Johnathan Stewart

Rob Linhart

• A.J. Green
• Sammy Watkins

Joe Pro

• DeAndre Hopkins
• Carlos Hyde
• Mark Ingram
• Russell Wilson

Rock

• Dez Bryant
• Jarvis Landry
• Allen Robinson
• Donte Moncrief

Davie

• Julio Jones
• Brandon Marshall
• Jordan Reed
• Devonta Freeman*

Devin

• Le'Veon Bell
• Alshon Jeffrey
• Odell Beckham Jr.
• Thomas Rawls

Wadhams

• Adrian Peterson
• Antonio Brown
• Rob Gronkowski
• David Johnson

As a result, the draft will be as follows:

Round 1

1. T-Smoke

2. Spae

3. B-Shorts

Round 2

4. T-Smoke

5. Spae

6. B-Shorts

Round 3

7. T-Smoke

8. Urgie

9. Spae

10. B-Shorts

11. Rob Linhart

Round 4

12. T-Smoke

13. Don

14. Urgie

15. Spae

16. B-Shorts

17. Rob

Round 5

18. T-Smoke

19. Don

20. Urgie

21. Spae

22. B-Shorts

23. Vic

24. Rob

25. Joe Pro

26. Rock

27. Wadhams*

28. Devin

29. Wadhams


*Davie contacted me Friday and offered to trade me his fifth round pick in exchange for Devonta Freeman.

A Message From Your Champion

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Well, the fantasy football season is nearly upon us, and with Fan Duel & Draft Kings still banned in New York state, I thought I'd reactivate the website.

Just the usual stuff first:
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The 2015 acquisition fees (which I would appreciate everyone paying on draft day) will be put into the league treasury fund to pay the expenses for the 2016 draft, trophy engraving and post-season party expenses. The list is as follows:

NFL (Real Niggas)

• Jeremy B-Shorts: 9 Acquisitions = $9
• Wadhams: 12 Acquisitions = $20
• Spae: 13 Acquisitions = $25
• Vic: 9 Acquisitions = $9

UFL (Fuck Niggas)

• Joe Pro: 20 Acquisitions = $60
• Davie: 14 Acquisitions = $30 (Paid 1/3/16)
• Urgie: 12 Acquisitions = $20
• Don: 5 Acquisitions = $5

XFL (Hood Niggas)

• Joey: 11 Acquisitions = $15
• Rock: 12 Acquisitions = $20
• T-Smoke: 6 Acquisitions = $6
• Ginny: 11 Acquisitions = $15

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We had a surplus of food last year, so to avoid that again, we'll have to decide what we are going to do for our post draft eating. Don't worry, I'll still grab some Wegman's subs to eat during a break in the draft process.
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To recap the off-season posts from previous years:

First, the draft will be held on Sunday, September 4th at Devin & Krissy's house at 2:00PM

Second, Keepers must be locked in by Sunday August 28th at 5:00PM

Third, remember that the buy in this year will once again be $150. This payout will be:

1st Place: $1000
2nd Place: $600
3rd Place: $200

Finally, here's the draft order for 2016:

1. T-Smoke (Regular Season: 3-10, 1289.5 Points for)
2. Don (Regular Season: 4-9, 1264.5 Points for)
3. Urgie (Regular Season: 4-9, 1278 Points for)
4. Spae (Regular Season: 5-8, 1411 Points for)
5. B-Shorts (Regular Season: 6-7, 1285 Points for)
6. Vic (Regular Season: 7-6, 1379.5 Points for)
7. Joey (Regular Season: 7-6, 1524 Points for)
8. Joe Pro (Regular Season: 8-5, 1518.5 Points for)
9. Rock (Lost Consolation Game)
10. Davie (Won Consolation Game)
11. Devin (Lost Championship Game)
12. Wadhams (2015 Champion)

If you have any further questions, just let me know.

Destiny Motherfucker! Don't Fight It!

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I called my shot back in August. I knew four months ago that my roster was by far the best in the league. What I didn't know was how easy it would be claiming my third championship in the last eight seasons.

Hell, I was so sure of myself that I threw away my first pick on Joseph Randle!

Many of you thought I couldn't do it. Some of you probably laughed at the notion that I could claim victory before the draft even took place. I even overheard Rock say: "Three Time Champion no more." over at Devin's last week when Doug Baldwin caught his first of two touchdowns.

Want to know what happened next? Destiny Motherfucker! I got a combined 80 points from David Johnson and Antonio Brown which propelled me into the championship game (getting the trophy was nothing more than a formality at that point).

So enjoy the off-season. I'll be back in the fall to defend my title as "The First Back to Back Champion"

Finally, here's the draft order for 2016:

1. T-Smoke (Regular Season: 3-10, 1289.5 Points for)
2. Don (Regular Season: 4-9, 1264.5 Points for)
3. Urgie (Regular Season: 4-9, 1278 Points for)
4. Spae (Regular Season: 5-8, 1411 Points for)
5. B-Shorts (Regular Season: 6-7, 1285 Points for)
6. Vic (Regular Season: 7-6, 1379.5 Points for)
7. Joey (Regular Season: 7-6, 1524 Points for)
8. Joe Pro (Regular Season: 8-5, 1518.5 Points for)
9. Rock (Lost Consolation Game)
10. Davie (Won Consolation Game)
11. Devin (Lost Championship Game)
12. Wadhams (2015 Champion)

The 2015 Championship: Wad vs. Ginny

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I suppose it was always destined to be this way... the 2013 league champion versus the 2014 league champion.

I try to be a good person, I really do. But I've come to accept that fantasy football brings out the worst in me. No matter how good of friends I am with someone, when it comes to my opponent each week, I can only seem to muster contempt and disgust for them. Which is weird because most of the time I'll gladly displace myself if it will help those I'm closest to in any way.

Not when it comes to fantasy football. No, I have no friends. Just people who stand between me and the ultimate goal.

That's why I don't think Devin and I should be in the same place this weekend since I'm certain his attitude isn't that far behind mine when it comes to matters such as this.

Here's the revised draft order for 2016:

1. T-Smoke (Regular Season: 3-10, 1289.5 Points for)
2. Don (Regular Season: 4-9, 1264.5 Points for)
3. Urgie (Regular Season: 4-9, 1278 Points for)
4. Spae (Regular Season: 5-8, 1411 Points for)
5. B-Shorts (Regular Season: 6-7, 1285 Points for)
6. Vic (Regular Season: 7-6, 1379.5 Points for)
7. Joey (Regular Season: 7-6, 1524 Points for)
8. Joe Pro (Regular Season: 8-5, 1518.5 Points for)

Week 13: MORTAL KOMBAT!

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Another playoff season is upon us, so here's the draft order for 2016:

1. T-Smoke (Regular Season: 3-10, 1289.5 Points for)
2. Don (Regular Season: 4-9, 1264.5 Points for)
3. Urgie (Regular Season: 4-9, 1278 Points for)
4. Spae (Regular Season: 5-8, 1411 Points for)
5. B-Shorts (Regular Season: 6-7, 1285 Points for)
6. Vic (Regular Season: 7-6, 1379.5 Points for)

Right now I'm doing the math before anything official comes through from ESPN, but it looks like this is how things will go. Any changes that need to be made will be done so accordingly.

Week 12: Lock It Up

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If I may paraphrase Mark Twain: "the report of my fantasy football death was an exaggeration."

It looks like Gronk is only expected to miss the next two games. And this works out perfect since I already locked up a bye (thank you B-Shorts for taking down Vic) and he'll return in time for my first playoff game.

I can still lock up the #1 seed with a victory next week combined with a Rock loss. Either way, I don't care. Joe Pro would have to have an epic collapse to not get the division win secure the #3 spot.

Sorry Don, T-Smoke, Urgie, and Spae, but you guys are officially eliminated from the post-season this year.

Joey, Devin, and Vic all control their destiny. If they win this week, they'll make the playoffs.

The bubble teams are Davie and B-Shorts who will not only need to win, but also to get some help.

Remember that overall record determines your position, and the first tiebreaker is the amount of points scored during the regular season.

Week 11: Surprise Update #4: The Urgie Trade Rule

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Urgie has a track record of making horrible trades, and I'm putting that as lightly as I can. As a rule, I've stated in the past that I don't like to intervene on trades unless they're just too one-sided. The only occasions where I thought about putting the kibosh on a deal was when Urgie was one of the parties involved.

This led me to instate the "Urgie Trade Rule". What this means is that each member of the league is allowed one AND ONLY ONE trade with Urgie where they completely fantasy rape his roster.

T-Smoke used his when he picked up Aaron Rodgers for a draft pick, and Devin used his this season by getting Greg Olsen for Peyton Manning.

The remaining nine league members still have their "Urgie screwing trade" available. Props to Rock for trying to cash his in this season with his attempt to lift Todd Gurley off the roster.

Once all 11 other members have used their "robbing Urgie blind" free pass, then things will reset and everyone will be able to once again "jam Urgie up".

Week 10: Spae's Resurgence

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Ever see the movie: "Go"?

It was released back in 1999 and starred Katie Holmes when she was still hot. Before years of Scientology, Tom Cruise, and a plethora of horrible decisions consigned her to the trash heap of "once promising young Hollywood starlets who ruined their career/life"

Well, there was a scene where a bouncer at the Crazy Horse Too (not a typo) got shot in the arm, and as his father stitched up the wound, he imparted this wisdom upon his son:

"You know what wakes me up in the middle of the night covered in a cold sweat? Knowing that you aren't any worse than anyone else in your whole screwed up generation. In the old days, you know how you got to the top? Huh? By being better than the guy ahead of you. How do you people get to the top? By being so fucking incompetent, that the guy ahead of you can't do his job, so he falls on his ass and congratulations, you are now on top. And now the top is down here, it used to be up here... and you don't even know the fucking difference."

That kind of sums up how Spae's team has managed to turn things around this year. Allow me to elucidate:

DeAngelo Williams: Williams managed only 2.5 points over the course of the five weeks when Le'Veon Bell was starting. Compare that with the 96 points he's tallied during the games Bell has been out and you've got a fantasy running back who's value has skyrocketed based on the fact that the guy in front of him was unable to stay healthy.

Chandrick West: West had 8.5 points over the first six weeks of 2015. Then like clockwork, Mr. Glass (aka Jamal Charles) goes down for the season. Of course West has amassed 72.5 points in his last three games.

James Starks: Eddie Lacey's ineptitude combined with his groin injury paved the way for local boy Starks to become the Packers' primary back. In his first five games, Starks got a combined 25 points. Put that up against the 62.5 he's posted in the last four and you've got a running back who has more than doubled his point output.

Now to be fair, Spae picked Williams on draft day, and West was the backup to his boy Charles. Still, these running backs wouldn't be in the position they are today if it weren't for the ineptitude and injury prone nature of the guys ahead of them on the depth chart.

So cheers to Spae, having fantasy football incompetency work in his favor for a change.